Hearing Jesus' Voice

The gospel today began with this:
"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me" (John 10:27).
Vaguely, I can hear Jesus' voice. There have been times when my mind is peaceful and I can faintly feel that Jesus speaks to me, not with my hearing but which of the senses I cannot identify. Perhaps it is my heart. The feeling is faint and sometimes I shut it off. I have been rebellious perhaps.

Here lies the tension. I am sure God respects my freedom. He does not impose. Alas! Life would have been much easier had God imposed. He expects total obedience, complete surrender of my will. Yet, I still hang on stubbornly with my own will. Letting go is not easy for me. So, most of the time, I lose contact with God.

Jesus knows me. He knows my being. I am sure He has been trying hard to get me connected. I am sure He will never give me up. He must have sent me a lot of supports and I understand that there are many obstacles between us. The ball is in my court now. It is my turn to clear these obstacles.

There is a gap between hearing and following. To bridge the gap, I know that I need to let go, to surrender my will and to obey completely. But where can I find the strength to do so? I find it in the firmness of Jesus' tone. Though He did not mention the Holy Spirit in the verse above, I am sure the Holy Spirit He has given me is stirring my soul to embrace His call.

I faintly hear that Jesus tells me to reach out to my neighbour. There, I will find Him beckoning to me, drawing me nearer to hear Him better. Gosh, it is not easy for me to focus but I will try. So, help me Lord.

Dear Lord, I believe that You and the Father are one. You are my God and my Lord. I want to surrender. So, help me Lord. Amen.