To Age Gracefully
Deacon Alex Kwok
Let’s face it. The Hong Kong population ages quickly and the city has to rely heavily on migrants to sustain the economy as well as other social services. Many factors contributed to the skewed shape of the population pyramid of Hong Kong today. More significantly, those who are holding on to the power to allocate social resources are old! When they refuse to step down, younger people below are unable to move up. Yet, new situations keep coming up. Without new blood, new ideas and youthful vigour to break new paths, our economic prosperity is not sustainable. Why do people on top refuse to resign? One possible reason is that they have not finished leaving significant legacy behind. They want to offer more so that people would probably remember them longer when they are gone! I doubt very much whether people would. Moreover, as a Chinese aphorism goes, “Wealth does not stay beyond three generations富不過三代”. Rich granddaddies will never feed rich grandchildren!
However, my wife and I remember her maternal grandmother fondly. Her mind was still sound until her last breath. This old lady had never been rich and received no education in her younger days. Yet, she had always been cheerful despite the hardships she went through that were peculiar to her generation back in the mainland. “Thank you” was always on her lips. Not just my wife and I, even the doctors, nurses, janitors in the ward remembered her for her cheerfulness which brightened up the gloomy faces of the patients in the same ward. Is not joy one of the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22)? She was truly a path-breaker for us. She had shown us how to age and die gracefully.
Memory of my father is rather mixed. He had been a loyal shopkeeper in a philately shop and had served only two bosses in his whole life. Besides being diligent, he studied English on his own to serve English-speaking customers, including students of the College in which I later taught. He kept a phone book of his colleagues and friends to keep in contact with them after his retirement. It was depressing to see him call them less and less in latter years. He outlived them and became less mobile. My father passed away peacefully in his sleep at home. God be praised! Is not faithfulness also one of the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit (ditto)?
What have I learnt from them? Both of them aged and died gracefully. They have shown us that such a path is possible. Firstly, both of them had never been ambitious people, wanting to leave a sizeable legacy behind for the posterity. Looking back, am I an ambitious person? Indeed I am. I have been more ambitious than I know! One simple indicator is that I have lost count of the number of books I have collected. Many of them I have never leafed through. Previously they were physical books. Now, they are e-books.
Secondly, both of them accepted their ageing peacefully but I am the kind of person who does not let go easily. I start forgetting things and appointments. Oh, everybody forgets. I start mislaying objects. Oh, who doesn’t? My routines begin to fall apart. Well, you are tired. It will get better soon. I stop learning new things and keep doing things I can handle repeatedly. Good of you to strengthen your habits. Your perseverance will build up more virtues. But when perseverance is more than necessary and sufficient, it becomes stubbornness! I used to wear a pair of heavy industrial grade safety shoes in order to strengthen my leg muscles. Only recently did I give them up because my knees were so painful that I was not able to genuflect at the Tabernacle without support anymore. All these symptoms show that I have not been able to accept my ageing peacefully enough. In short, I am an arrogant person. What should I do to prepare for my latter years?
I have been suffering from diabetes for nearly four decades. I do not know what mutant virus I have been living with since the COVID pandemic. Thus, to protect others as well as myself, I keep wearing a surgical mask in enclosed areas such as transportations and air-conditioned premises. I suppose it is safe to remove it on page. Why do I wear beard? To remind myself that I am ageing and that I want it done gracefully.
God bless!
Picture Credit: Great Britain Tour in May
No comments:
Post a Comment