Saul fell from grace

Today is the feast day of St. Agnes.  She dedicated herself to God and suffered martyrdom at the tender age of 13.  Nowadays, Christians no longer suffer the same violent martyrdom as in ancient times. The greatest persecution confronting Christians may be a rising tide of daily indifference, rather than open hostility. Modern people simply ignore Christianity, brush it aside as irrelevant. So, modern Christians suffer a different type of martyrdom, not a bloodily short one but a quietly long one. Of course, you suffer only because you are dedicated, like Agnes. Otherwise, life would be easy.
Dear St. Agnes, you have set up for us a heroic example. In your dedication to God, you were willing to endure all sorts of tortures. Pray for us modern Christians. May our dedication to God be strong enough to follow your noble example. Happy Feast Day to you, Agnes (my dear lovely colleague in Shung Tak). Amen.
Today, we continue with the story of Saul in 1 Samuel 15. Two days ago, I tried to discover the merits of Saul, to defend his character. However, the author of Samuel was not as sympathetic. When God told Samuel that Saul had turned back from following Him, had not performed His commandments, Samuel was angry and cried to the Lord all night (1 Samuel 15:11). I think I would appreciate why Samuel cried all night to the Lord. As the Prophet of Israel, Samuel was probably interceding for Saul and Israel the whole night. But I am puzzled why Samuel was angry. What was he angry about? Was he angry that Saul, and Israel as a whole, had disobeyed God? "Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams." (15:22).
Saul was thick-skinned enough to claim that he had performed the commandment of the Lord (15:13). When Samuel confronted him with the fact, Saul put the blame on the people "... for the people spared the best of the sheep and of the oxen to sacrifice to the Lord your God" (15:15). Now God was Samuel's God, not Saul's! All along, Saul did not accept Samuel's God as his own God. Poor Saul, he turned around to disown God who had made him king over Israel!
Samuel said, "Though you are little in your own eyes ..." (15:17). So, I was wrong to credit Saul as being humble. After all, Saul probably suffered from inferiority complex instead. Having denounced by Samuel, Saul still tried to save his face in front of the people by insisting that Samuel should return with him. "I have sinned; yet honor me now before the elders of my people and before Israel, and return with me, that I may worship the LORD your God." (15:30). Saul was willing to do whatever he could, even to admit his sins, in order to save his face before a disobedient people! Poor Saul, how his tragic character had wound him up in such a messy situation.

My God, You are my God, not just Samuel's God. My personality is flawed yet You still accept my imperfections. Enlighten me so that I may see them clearly and improve on them with Your help. Heal me of my many flaws so that I will not bring sufferings to others, to those dear to me. Teach me to obey Your divine will and never depart from Your path. Amen.