天主奇妙的愛 The Amazing Love of God

復活期第六主日
主題：天主奇妙的愛

今天想與大家默想天主那奇妙的、意想不到的愛。
在今天的第一篇讀經，【宗徒大事錄】之中，有兩件事值得留意。
第一，初期教會不像今天的教會以「天主聖三」之名施洗，而是因主耶穌基督之名施洗（宗10:48）。只用耶穌之名施洗，好像漏了些甚麼，會不會是不完滿的洗禮呢？其實，我們的信仰是有歷史的，是信徒經過二千年來的努力，千錘百鍊所得來的。
「有歷史的」表示我們對真理的認識，尚未完滿。能應付到二千年前的農村的需要道理並不表示能滿足到今天的國際大都會的需要。幸好耶穌曾許諾派遣聖神與教會同在，教導她所需要的所有真理。所以，祗要對天主的慈愛抱開放的心，就能掌握到所需要的真理。「對天主的慈愛抱開放的心」是甚麼意思，讓我們再看【宗徒大事錄】值得留意的第二件事。

耶穌的門徒全部都是猶太人。耶穌升天的時候，門徒們仍念念不忘復國，仍然以為耶穌復活後會領導他們驅逐羅馬人，解放他們，重建以色列。初期教會以為自己是「新以色列」，取代舊的以色列。舊的以色列有十二支派。所以，耶穌選十二個宗徒。當十二宗徒之一的猶達斯死了，就補選了瑪弟亞，填補猶達斯的遺缺。所以，接受外邦人加入教會是宗徒們所始料不及的。在我們今天沒有讀到的故事的前半部所記載，連伯多祿都認為不應接受外邦人加入教會。
我們不是猶太人，所以是外邦人。我們有幸入教，覺得天主的慈愛是理所當然的，祗是初期教會的猶太信徒太頑固，是他們的信德出了問題而已。其實今天的故事也同樣挑戰著我們對天主的慈愛的開放程度。讓我們來接受挑戰吧！

在我們上慕道班，學習天主教道理的時候，我們學過堅振聖事賜予聖神，而祗有無罪的人纔能領受聖神。因為堅振聖事不像聖洗聖事、告解聖事及病人傅油聖事。這三件聖事是為了赦罪和為了醫治靈魂的病弱。堅振聖事是給予已經領洗重生的人七種恩寵，即所謂「聖神七恩」，讓他們的靈魂成長發展，加強領堅振的人靈魂的力量，成為耶穌的勇兵，在人前為耶穌作見證。在今天的讀經中，科爾乃略全家尚未領洗，即是說他們仍有原罪和本罪，卻先領聖神。很奇怪，那些原罪、本罪不會阻擋他們領受聖神的恩寵嗎？更何況，他們未領洗重生，他們的靈魂就好像未出生的嬰兒一樣。試問未出生的嬰兒又怎樣長大成人呢？合乎邏輯嗎？為甚麼我們的道理與聖經的記載會出現矛盾呢？莫非我們學了錯誤的道理嗎？抑或是我們好像初期教會中的猶太信徒一樣，是我們的信德出了問題嗎？

其實，我們不得不承認我們是有限的受造物，我們在各方面多方面都是不足的，好像耶穌時代的猶太司祭和經師。他們為甚麼要唾棄耶穌呢？因為他們頑固，對天主的慈愛採取封閉的態度，自命為天主救恩的代理人。自己不做，也不讓別人做。在他們眼中，耶穌離經背道，不守賴以得救的法律。例如：法律禁止觸摸不潔的人，耶穌卻觸摸不潔的癩病人；安息日不准做不必要的勞動，耶穌偏偏就在安息日治病；耶穌與不潔的羅馬人來往，治好百夫長的僕人；耶穌怎至與公開的罪人，稅吏娼妓一起同席；他搗亂聖殿；自認天主子；耶穌的罪，簡直罄竹難書。
這些猶太權貴不是罪大惡極的壞人，他們祗是接受一個符合他們要求的天主。最初，伯多祿不能接受外邦人加入教會，也是犯了同一個毛病，就是對天主的慈愛採取封閉的態度。他們的經驗，正好提醒我們對天主的慈愛要抱開放的態度。不與罪人來往，又如何令他們得救呢？按法律行事固然是好事，但強迫人死守法律的條文而忘卻法律的精神，豈不是本末倒置？天主為我們預備了很多的恩寵，倘若我們死守一些自己的偏見，而不去嘗試以天主的眼光看這個世界，不以天主的心愛這個世界，又怎能領受到天主豐富的慈愛呢？

很多夫婦對生命不敢開放，不想生育小朋友，恐怕沒有四百萬養育他們，恐怕他們受共產黨洗腦，將來用文革式的手段批鬥自己。其實，有誰比母親更能具體地表達天主對我們的愛呢？母親對子女無私的養育，正好反映出天主對人類奇妙及意想不到的慈愛。母親的確是教人認識天主慈愛的第一位老師。今天是母親節，讓我們為這些有顧慮的夫婦祈禱，祈望他們能對天主的慈愛開放，讓兩夫婦能憑天主的助佑，共同承擔使命，令作為妻子的能享受到做母親的喜樂。
很多的青年人對前途不敢開放，逃避回應聖召，恐怕自己不配做修道人，又恐怕年邁的雙親沒有人照顧。今年是「獻身生活年」，讓我們為這些充滿疑慮的青年祈禱，祈望他們能對天主的慈愛開放，鼓起勇氣蹈出第一步，探索天主為他們所預備了的恩寵。開放自己，讓天主的恩寵改造自己。
天主保佑。

2012年反省

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6^th Easter Sunday, Year B
Theme: The Amazing Love of God
Today, let us meditate on the amazing, undreamt of love of God.
In the first reading this morning, two things are worth paying attention to.
First of all, unlike today, the early Church did not baptize in the name of the Blessed Trinity, but in the name of Jesus Christ (Acts 10:48). Something seemed to be missing if they were baptized in the name of Jesus Christ only. Would their baptism be incomplete? In fact, our faith is historical. Our belief is the deposit of Christian efforts of the last 2 millennia.
That our faith is historical suggests that our understanding of the truth is incomplete. The “truth” which satisfied the needs of agricultural villages 2000 years ago may not meet those of a cosmopolitan city today. Luckily Jesus promised us the Holy Spirit who will teach us all the truth we need. Therefore, when we open up our hearts to the mercy of God, we will be able to get hold of the truth we need. What does it mean “to open up our hearts to the mercy of God”? Let us turn to the second detail I previously mentioned in the Acts today.

All the first generation disciples of Jesus were Jews. On his Ascension, the disciples still wanted to restore the kingdom of Israel. They still thought that after resurrection, Jesus would lead them to drive out the Romans, to liberate them and to regain independence. The early Church thought of themselves as the “New Israel” to replace the “Old Israel”. There were 12 tribes of (Old) Israel. Therefore, Jesus elected the Twelve. When Judas, one of the Twelve, had died, they chose Mathias to fill Judas’ vacancy. Therefore, admitting Gentiles into the Church was unthinkable for the Apostles. In the earlier part of the story we read today, even Simon Peter did not think it was right to admit Gentiles.
We are non-Jews, in other words, Gentiles. We were baptized and entered the Church and take God’s salvation and mercy for granted. We think that the problem lay in the stubbornness of the Jewish believers in the early Church. Their faith was flawed. However, the story today also challenges how open we are to the mercy of God. Let us take up the challenge.

When we learned the Catholic faith in our catechism class, we were told that the sacrament of Confirmation confers the Holy Spirit and only people whose sins have been remitted can receive it. Unlike the sacraments of Baptism, Reconciliation and Anointment which forgive sins and heal the weaknesses of our souls, the sacrament of Confirmation confers to the newly reborn seven graces, the so called “Seven Gifts of the Holy Spirit” to help their souls grow up, to strengthen their souls to become the soldiers of Christ and to bear witness before people etc. In the story today, all the family members of Cornelius were not baptized. That is to say, they still had the Original Sin and their actual sins but they received the Holy Spirit. Is it strange? Did not the Original Sin and their actual sins prevent them from receiving the graces of the Holy Spirit? Moreover, they were not yet reborn in baptism. Their souls were like babies not yet carried to term. How could an unborn baby be grown up into an adult? Is it logical? So, why do the instructions we received in catechism classes contradict with what is written in the Bible? Have we learnt something wrong? Or is our faith flawed like that of the Jewish Christians in the early Church?

In fact, we have to admit that we are finite creatures. We are inadequate in many areas like the Jewish priests and scribes in Jesus’ day. Why did they reject Jesus? It was because they were stubborn and closed themselves to the mercy of God. They made themselves the sole dispensers of God’s salvation. What they did not do, they forbade others to do. In their eyes, Jesus was a heretic who did not follow the Torah on which salvation depended. For example, Torah forbids touching the unclean but Jesus touched a leper; people are forbidden to do unnecessary labour on Sabbath but Jesus chose to heal on Sabbaths; Jesus befriended the unclean Romans, healing the servant of a centurion; Jesus even sat at table with public sinners such as publicans and prostitutes; he disrupted the Holy Temple and called himself the Son of God etc. The list of his sins is endless.
These Jewish authorities were not evil. They could only accept a God who fits their requirements. At first, when Peter could not accept Gentiles into the Church, he made the same mistake as the Jewish authorities. He was also closed to God’s mercy. What happened to them is a good reminder for us to be open to God’s mercy. If you refuse to walk along with sinners, how can you bring them salvation? Observing the Torah is a good thing. But by imposing the precepts on the people and forgetting the spirit of the Law, have we put the cart before the horse? God has prepared a lot of graces for us. If we stick to our prejudices and do not try to see the world with God’s eyes, to love the world with God’s heart, how can we receive the abundant grace of God?

Many couples dare not to be open to life. They do not want babies. They worry that they don’t have 4 million dollars to raise a kid. They are afraid that their children would be brainwashed by the Communists so that in the future they would suffer Cultural Revolution style “struggles”. In fact, who can concretely express God’s love better than mothers? The unreserved love of mothers in raising their kids genuinely reflects God’s amazing and undreamt of love towards humanity. Mothers are the first teachers of God’s love to humanity. Today is Mother’s Day. Let us pray for those worried parents. We pray that they can be open to God’s mercy and with the help of God, they can share their mission, enabling wives to taste the joy of motherhood.
Many young people dare not to remain open to their future. They evade their vocation. They worry whether they are worthy to consecrated life. They also worry that there is nobody to take care of their ageing parents. While this is the “Year of Consecrated Life”, let us pray for those confused youngsters. We pray that they are open to God’s mercy to take the first step to explore what grace God has in store for them.
Open ourselves up. Allow God’s mercy to transform us.
God bless.

God is greater than our hearts

Fifth Easter Sunday, Year B

My heart is not peaceful at all at this moment. The closer the ordination, the more unworthy I feel. The situation has worsened since the 7-day retreat in Taiwan. Wounds have been uncovered and yet they have not been properly treated. Don't misunderstand me, I am not putting the blame on anybody, which I found to be my MO, in particular the Spiritual Director, Fr. Francis Tam, who has been most helpful. After all, a retreat is a retreat, not a counselling or psychotherapy session. It is spiritual and not psychological. It is an encounter with Jesus Christ and a reconciliation with myself. And here lies the problem. I cannot forgive myself. In time, I will publish my spiritual journal of those 7 days. But at the moment, I am stressed.

At the moment, I feel like a bride who wants to run away the night before wedding. Have I not known Jesus enough? No. I think not. I celebrated my 45^th anniversary of Confirmation last month and in a few months, I will retire my 39-year career of Bible teaching. Do I not love Jesus? No. I always feel the same as St. Augustine that I have loved Him too late. Does Jesus love me? A categorical YES. There is no doubt about it and at times, I am conscious of his love. Is there anything missing? Not that I know of. So what is troubling me? I don't know. Perhaps I have not prayed hard enough.

"Little children, let us not love in word or speech but in deed and in truth. By this we shall know that we are of the truth, and reassure our hearts before him whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." (1 John 3:18-20)
My conscience is condemning me. John said that my love in deed and in truth shall reassure my heart because God is greater than my conscience and He knows everything.

Perhaps this is the meaning of a private revelation of mine. My wounds shall never get totally healed. I shall have to carry my wounds until the day I meet my Creator who is greater than my conscience but for my sake, He will not erase it. This lack of peace shall accompany me for my whole ministry in the future. This is just the beginning, a foretaste of the things to come in the future so that when it comes, I shall not be caught unprepared.

"If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you." (John 15:7)
I pray that I shall not bring any scandal to the Church in my ministry. Amen.