Family is where it hurts most

Leo Tolstoy's book Anna Karenina begins as follow:
"Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
Tolstoy's theme sentence captures the spirit of a similar Chinese idiom "Every family has a difficult prayer to say 家家有本難念的經". Perhaps like the Oedipus myth, family is an existential crisis everybody has to go through.
As Homo Sapiens evolved and wealth accumulated, the institution of family was set up to serve several essential socio-political functions. As long as man is mortal, begetting and raising offspring is the solution to the preservation of the gene pool. In order to pass on the hard gain wealth of material and knowledge, marriage is set up to legitimize inheritance. Thus, family provides a relatively permanent environment to raise up children. Families are the building blocks of a society. With harmonious families, the stability of the larger social community is ensured. Thus, families have to be protected from assaults resulted from social changes. Today, the Church celebrates the Feast of the Holy Family. From the Holy Family, we learn the core values of family.

The Holy Family suffers all sorts of assaults like any other families. To begin with, the setting up of a family between the BVM and St. Joseph did not go smoothly. The first challenge came from the unwed motherhood of the BVM. Divine intervention had to be incurred in order to cement the marriage. With the birth of Jesus, the Holy Family came into existence. Immediately, political persecution forced the Holy Family to flee to an alien country, Egypt, where their patriarchs had once stayed to flourish only to be enslaved. Once divine intervention delivered the Chosen People so that they could settle in the Promised Land. Again, divine intervention ensured the safety of the Holy Family. From Egypt, the Holy Family returned and settled in the outskirt of this piece of Roman colony, Galilee where Jesus spent his childhood.
Every year, the saintly couple went to Jerusalem at the Feast of Passover (Luke 2:41). From his parents, child Jesus had been brought up in a pious family. According to custom, when Jesus came of age at 12, his parents brought him up to Jerusalem to spend the Feast of Passover together. Perhaps it was a kind of passage rite. Jesus was recognized as a grown-up Jew at 12. For the first time in his life, Jesus was brought into the Temple, the house of Yahweh, his heavenly Father. Here, Jesus began to be conscious of his destiny and true identity, the son not just of the BVM, but of his heavenly Father.

The story goes that Jesus stayed behind without his parents' knowledge to deepen his consciousness of his filial relationship with Yahweh. This resulted in inflicting pains on his parents who searched for him desperately for three days.
"Son, why have you treated us so? Behold, your father and I have been looking for you anxiously." (Luke 2:48b)
Children have to grow up and gain independence. If they are suffocated by parental care, they will never mature. Letting go of children is painful for parents because their bond is very intimate and strong. Parents are supposed to be mature and strong enough to let go. We parents cannot expect our children to understand our feelings well enough. It is part of parenthood to suffer for the good of our children. It is also a part of our growing up and growing up is very often painful. Family is where it hurts most.

Nowadays, we witness many incidents of domestic violence, obsessive gambling, substance abuses, internet addiction, divorce and what not. Furthermore, long working and studies hours are eroding our family life but material abundance cannot replace quality family time. Family members are the most intimate among all relations. The wounds sustained hurt the most. We came from families and lead most of our lives in families. This is the existential crisis we all have to go through. We all fall but we must stand up again stronger so that we can withstand the next fall. But where lies the strength to stand up tall again? I believe that love and forgiveness are the answer. We cannot afford to allow our families to break up. Family has to be defended at all costs, for the young and the aged as well. Where do love and forgiveness come from? We must go back to the source of our existence in order to overcome this existential crisis, God who is faithful and is always there ready to intervene when we place our trust in Him.

Jesus had chosen the better portion to stay in his Father's house (Luke 2:49). He had brought his parents back to the Temple, to a deeper relation with the heavenly Father. Their pains were not yet over. Greater pains would follow: the demise of St. Joseph, witnessing the rejection of her son by his own people, his death and burial. In God's guidance, the Holy Family went through all familial sufferings for the redemption of humanity.

Dear Jesus, You know our wounds in the family. Transform them to be instruments of our redemption. Amen.

Admission to Permanent Diaconate Candidacy

At the anticipatory mass on the Feast of Holy Family, I was admitted among candidates of permanent deacons of the Hong Kong Catholic Diocese. Celebrating the occasion on this Feast is meaningful in a particular way for me. At twelve, Jesus was awaken to a new awareness of his destiny and true identity. Tonight also marks the beginning of a new level of my consciousness as a deacon candidate.

Way back in 1976, I offered my graduation gown on a Sunday Mass to express my wish to offer my talents to serve God. At that time, I was not dedicated enough to consider the vocation of priesthood. I met Erminia and got married. Due to an unhealthy life style, I contracted diabetes and plunged into depression. With the support of Erminia, I gradually emerged psychologically as well as physically. About 12 years ago, my three children were relatively independent. Saturnia, then the youngest daughter was  already primary three. At that time, Deacon Karl Tsang gave a talk to promote permanent diaconate among the parishioners. I was among the audience. Yet, God has a schedule for me. Erminia was pregnant again with Symphorian. So, God wanted me to be a dedicated husband and father rather than a permanent deacon, I thought.
In 2008 when Shung Tak celebrated her golden jubilee, an encounter with the Vicar General, Fr. Dominic Chan aroused in me again the vocation to serve the Church in the capacity of a permanent deacon. From then on, with the support of Erminia and my children, I embarked on my formation program as an aspirant. There are two major obstacles which I need to overcome: my poor health and my aversion to authority abuses. While I was contemplating the gospel reading of Jesus' sitting among the teachers in the Temple, the image of the poor widow offering two copper coins floated in my mind.
And he called his disciples to him, and said to them, "Truly, I say to you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury.
For they all contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, her whole living." (Mark 12:43-44)

Jesus praised the poor widow because she loved the Lord her God with all her heart, with all her soul, with all her mind, and with all her strength (Mark 12:30), while the others loved God out of what they spared. This is a good lesson for all of us. We should not serve God only in our spare time, with our spare money. Like the poor widow, we should serve and love God even when we cannot spare our time and money. I should not wait until my health is totally recovered. I should not wait until my personality is perfect. I am fully aware that my diabetes is incurable and my morality is chronically flawed. God is actually granting me grace to cure my inadequacy. It is out there for me to grab. At least, for this moment, I partly realize that God is handing me the grace which I cannot even dream of. He is purifying and strengthening my health, my character, my relationship with Erminia, my children, my parents as well as the others, in particular with my mother. It is my redemption!

6 Deacons, 2 Parish Priest, Fr. Dominic Chan, V.G.
Erminia & Alex; Anthony & wife.

Sitting side by side with Erminia during mass, I was deeply moved in the liturgy. Many people came to congratulate and support me and Anthony Sin, another aspirant from St. Joseph Parish, Kowloon Bay. I did not deserve the honour granted me by the presence of 6 permanent deacons, other deacon candidates and aspirants, my classmates of the BRS program, well wishing parishioners and in particular, Peter Lo and his wife Joan all the way from Canada. My God touches me once more.

Dear Jesus, I am an unworthy servant. Make up what I lack to glorify You. Amen.

Merry Christmas 2012

God has given us
an invaluable present
Jesus Christ.
Make room for Him in our hearts.
Savour the ineffable peace He brings.
Merry Christmas

What does it mean to be blessed?

Christmas is just 2 days away. We have entered the final preparation for Christmas. The best thing to do is to make a good confession so as to make room for Jesus in our hearts.

An old friend of mine, Daniel Mok, who had emigrated to England for many years, called me the other day to greet us merry Christmas in person. More than two decades ago, we met in Golden Arcade, Sham Shui Po, the IT Paradise which all tourists must visit. In those days, we cracked software and jokes. He is a Protestant and I am a Catholic. We have no quarrel but lively sharing of our faith. In view of the 1997 handover, his whole family left Hong Kong for England and had to struggle hard for quite a number of years in order to gain a footing. Now that his two sons have married and got good jobs, Daniel can finally enjoy a peaceful life. He told me that he was able to see God's hand guiding and granting them favour all these difficult years. I am consoled to see my friend successful both spiritually and temporally. He and his family are blessed.

In the gospel reading today, we heard of Mary being blessed among women (Luke 1:42). Mary is blessed in a special way because she believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord (Luke 1:45). So, what does it mean to be blessed for us?

Traditionally, many people would count longevity as being blessed. People who died young could not lead their lives to the full and have their ambitions fulfilled. They were deemed cursed. Nowadays, people value the quality of life more than its length. In a culture of death, people look for euthanasia as an exit. Longevity is no longer a sign of being blessed. Many people would count material abundance as being blessed. They would have no worries for daily necessities in their life. More demanding people would take esteem and respect from others as being blessed. However, most of the time, their lives are corrupted by power and end up in tragedy. Then, how can possessing esteem and respect be regarded as being blessed? From Maslow's point of view (the hierarchy of needs), material abundance and power only satisfy our needs. Having needs satisfied cannot be counted as blessed because we are not free. When our happiness depends on something external to us, we cannot enjoy our happiness freely. How can we count ourselves blessed? Thus, we have to look for blessedness beyond material and social dimensions. Being blessed must be spiritual.

As a Buddhist, gaining enlightenment is blessed. As a Christian, gaining God's favour is blessed. Perhaps you would object because this blessedness depends on God, on some Being outside and beyond us. We cannot command God to give us favour nor can we work hard to gain His favour. We all depend on God to grant us favour at His pleasure. However, we know and we believe that God wants all of us to be saved, to be freed from the bondage of sin and death (1 Timothy 2:4). His love is unconditionally because God is our heavenly Father. It is not through our works that we gain His favour. God has extended His invitation. It depends on whether we are willing to accept it. When we surrender our stubbornness and believe in His love, His favour will immediately descend on us and we are blessed. Mary has set us a model to copy. We believe and become blessed like Mary.

Sweet Lord Jesus, allow me to surrender my arrogance, believe in Your love and be counted blessed. Amen.

Gaudete Sunday 2012

It is a coincidence that the graduation ceremony of Saturnia, my daughter, was held today, the Gaudate Sunday, the third Sunday in the Advent Season. Christmas is just around the corner. Following the advice of St. Paul in Philippians 4:4-6, we should "Gaudete in Domino semper (Rejoice in the Lord always )".

Her graduation today is truly a joyous day. Her birth marked my gradual recovery from diabetes which will always never go away. It cheers me up to emerge from depression. She is such an adorable girl and I must work harder to stand on my feet again to live with my diabetes. She sat for HKCEE RS examination as a private candidate and scored an A, which washed away my shame in Shung Tak where the passing rate of my students barely went beyond 50%. It was a matter of candidates' attitude towards the subject. I rejoice in the Lord and am proud of Saturnia.

Erminia, Saturnia and me in the Grand Hall of Convention & Exhibition Centre

What is my secret of joy? Not money, not status, nor a comfortable life.
I am able to earn enough money to maintain my family. I evade authority and power to stay away from troubles. I live with my diabetes which is rather inconvenient. Yet, I am used to it.
John the Baptist says,
His winnowing fork is in his hand, to clear his threshing floor, and to gather the wheat into his granary, but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire (Luke 3:17).
It is the Lord who clears his threshing floor, not us. We incur troubles on our heads when we take over the job of the Lord. Therefore, judge not and we will be happy. Stay in my station and collaborate with my colleagues to discharge my duties faithfully. Stay simple and this is my secret of joy.

Dear Lord, let me and my family rejoice in You always. Amen.

What is Salvation?

We are all children of Adam and have inherited the Original Sin. Perhaps St. Paul had this in mind when he wrote that all had sinned and fell short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Now, after studying theology for a short while, we know that "inherited the Original Sin" does not articulate the truth properly. Rather, we should say "lost the Original Grace". Out of His benevolence, God created us. However, the first parents rebelled and did not live up to God's intention. Not only did our first parents fall short of the glory of God, they had done something that damaged part of the faculties of the soul. Thus, we have lost the Original Grace which is God Himself! Rejecting God, the human species rejected life.

Are we not living? Are we not breathing, eating and reproducing? Yes we are, but this is only the biological level. Even on the biological level, we suffer genetic mutation and incurable cancers. On higher levels, we establish interpersonal relationships and build up social networks. Are we not living socially? Yes we are, but on this social level, we suffer gossiping and bullying. We have developed economic prosperity and improved our living standard.  Yet, on this economic level, we exploit the developing countries through globalization. On the political level, there are greater freedom and democracy than before. Yet, our arsenals have enough weaponry to blast up this planet several times. All levels of our existence is stained. The story of the Forbidden Fruit attempts to explain our present plights, but with a twist, with a promise of salvation.

There would be conflicts between the Tempter and the Woman, the children of Women and the children of the Tempter. God would be on our side so that the Woman would trample on the head of the Tempter (Genesis 3:15). The Epistle of the Romans is a theological reflection on this conflict. Luckily, God did not abandon us. Throughout the ages, God announced through the prophets His determination to deliver us. St. Luke and the early Christians saw John the Baptist come to make the final announcement that the Saviour had finally arrived. Quoting Isaiah 40:5, Luke wrote all the flesh shall see the salvation of God. (Luke 3:6). So, what does this salvation mean? I think salvation means different things to different people because any abstract, universal definition, such as a restoration or even transformation of our relationship with God, will not be meaningful to us at all.

My mum has been an alcoholic but she does not admit it. From our point of view, alcoholism is seriously damaging her health and her relationships with us. Kicking the habit is her salvation. However, from her point of view, she has no problem. She denies drinking even though her breath is saturated with alcohol. Arguments over her drinking problem do not yield any improvement. We have tried different ways, e.g. accompanying her to distract her attention when the  hiding away the bottles of wine she purchases, asking her doctor to prescribe drugs, locking the door to prevent her from going out, following her and signal the grocers not to sell her etc. and have to admit that we have reached our wits' end.

When we were desperate and wanted to give up, God sent a parishioner to help us. She has been a janitor in a public hospital and is very experienced in dealing with old people. She is in a much better position to handle my mum's situation. After all, she is my mum. There are too many emotional complications involved to hinder our trying to make her quit drinking. Thank God and our parishioner friend, my mum begins to show signs of improvement. She still drinks. She still denies drinking but she can communicate better.

Dear Lord, I dare not beg You to make my mum quit drinking completely. I wish that she shall one day go to Church to praise You with me. Amen.

Christians welcome the end of the world

Don't make me wrong. I do not mean Christians are doomsday cult members who welcome or even try to initiate the end of the world, the Armageddon, the Parousia, the Judgment Day or whatever fancy names the concept of the end of the world would conjure up. No. Christians should not be like these fanatics. Rather, the end of the world marks the return of Christ whose second coming has long been waited for. Christians welcome the second coming of their Lord to bring them justice denied them by the world.

Now when these things begin to take place, look up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near (Luke 21:28).

The concept of the end of the world is alien to Asian Pacific minds which also believe in an afterlife. When the idea is mixed with the concept of justice, heaven and hell are born. Heaven is an extremely happy world 極樂世界 while hell is littered with tortures of all imaginable kind. This much Christianity shares with Eastern folk religions. It parts company with the Asian counterparts when Christianity believes in an end of this known world. The Bible invents an apocalyptic language to describe the novel situation which is something totally beyond the present-world experience. Just imagine, how would you describe the taste of chocolate if you have never eaten any chocolate before? Or the activities of silicon based life forms in another planet in another solar system? Here is how Luke describes it.

And there will be signs in sun and moon and stars, and upon the earth distress of nations in perplexity at the roaring of the sea and the waves,
men fainting with fear and with foreboding of what is coming on the world; for the powers of the heavens will be shaken (Luke 21:25-26).
We know tsunami, but what does "the powers of the heavens will be shaken" mean?
So nowadays, movie makers produce all sorts of doomsday films, such as asteroids hitting our earth, to capture the idea. However, this is modern astronomy which was unknown to authors of the Bible. They only knew astrology. Therefore, those heavenly signs described in the apocalyptic writings in the Bible should be interpreted astrologically instead of astronomically. When scientists try to identify the Star of Bethlehem to fix the year in which Jesus was born, most likely they will miss it if they apply Newtonian physics to calculate the paths of the stars. Once again, consult astrology almanacs would be a better approach.

Today is the beginning of the Advent Season, the beginning of a new liturgical cycle. The Church marks out the whole year for us to remember of our redemption history: the Incarnation of the Son of God, his earthly ministry, passion, resurrection, ascension, the descent of the Holy Spirit and the ministry of the Church etc. It is now the season of Advent, a preparation for the coming of Christ. Christ has come and will return again to fulfill our redemption. In his homily this morning, Deacon Karl Tsang invited us to meditate on our redemption. What are we supposed to become? There are many obstacles for us to fully realize our potentials. Many of us whose lives have been cut short to attain their fullness, whose ambitions have been frustrated and whose relations have never been satisfying etc. We look forward to their fulfillment when Christ comes the second time to elevate us to our fullness.

Dear Lord, come quickly to quench our thirst. Amen.