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Sunday 27 November 2011

I was overwhelmed

If God recalls me tonight, I will be caught unprepared.
I should have written this blog yesterday. Now I'm writing it but it will be the shortest blog.
I am not complaining but my hands are full. Jesus teaches me to stay alert, to keep watch over my soul. I know I know. But there are always so many things to take care of. Taking care of my soul becomes lower in priority. It is not as urgent as the things which I MUST handle at the moment.

Dear Lord, save me. Amen.

Sunday 20 November 2011

Good News and Bad

Thank God, my younger brother was discharged from the hospital yesterday, Saturday. The doctors said there was nothing more the hospital could do. Five further consultations have been arranged in the next few weeks to monitor his situation. In the meantime, he has to keep his cholesterol level within limits.
My brother was an electrical engineer. True to his colours, he manages to contain the damages and minimizes the troubles his illness causes. The previous Saturday when he was released from the hospital "on holiday", he bought a netbook computer together with a 3G wireless router. From his hospital bed, he would be able to make video calls to our parents and to me. However, the damage has been done. Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) shows extensive blood clogs in his brain. Sometimes, not only does he lose some memories, but he also displays minor symptoms of mental retardation. On the other hand, my parents are old and on medication. My father always mixes up the pills which he and mum have to take both in the mornings and in the evenings. My younger brother could not hide his worries. He requested another holiday last week to attend to the medication problem. The best arrangement at the moment is to persuade my parents to move to Tuen Mun, to live near us so that we don't have to travel across the territory from west to east to cater for their daily needs. My brother joins me to persuade my parents. But moving back to Tuen Mun is an uprooting venture. My parents don't like the idea but they show signs of concession. Erminia has started looking for flats here in Tuen Mun with nearly identical designs with that of theirs in Chai Wan, hoping that they would suffer the least convenience.

This Saturday, I was shaken by a bad news. Five of us attended on the same day a Psychology Test conducted by Fr. George Zee, S. J. to help us discern our vocation as permanent deacons. We successfully became aspirants and began our deacon formation. Three of us enrolled immediately in the theology course while Fred did the same one year later. We study together and build up quite a deep bond. We admire each other, Cosmas for his righteousness and Titan for his resourcefulness and me, knowledge of the Bible. BB Joe, our senior, was the first to quit. He wrote a polite resignation letter to hide his bitterness. Fred could not complete his Year One course due to his day time work. The remaining three of us become more emotionally attached. During the summer, Cosmas was elevated a Candidate. Titan and I were happy about it. After nearly two and a half year, we began to see the first sign of success. We are patient because we know that the vocation would not be an easy path. When Titan told me that he would be meeting the Vicar General who is also the Formation Director of the deacons, I congratulated him, expecting to see him elevated. In the evening, I was shaken to read his email, informing Cosmas and me that the Director asked him to leave the formation programme, citing the reason that the Spiritual Director of Titan did not recommend his staying in the formation programme any more. The VG felt obliged to respect his recommendation. My faith in the hierarchy was shaken.
If there be any unsatisfactory performance on the part of Titan, shouldn't he be advised of the defects and given help to improve on them? There are perhaps many more reasons about which Titan has not told me or Titan himself has not be told. I have to tell myself that nothing could have happened without God's consent. His will is behind every event that happens and His arrangement is always the best for us. Titan is talented in his own way. A pre-Vatican II Catholic, he knows a lot of Latin hymns. He is a Chinese Literature/History panel-chair in the Salesian School. His Chinese language is impeccable and very often able to point out the typographical errors that plague the Diocesan publications and handouts from the professors etc. He has been very resourceful and he knows where his strength lies: history. As a Salesian, Titan, I am sure, is spiritually mature enough to cope with all the repercussions of this expulsion. On the other hand, I am not so sure about myself.

In the morning, Fr. Martin brought to our attention those who are currently most in need in Tung Chung and Tin Shui Wai --- the hawkers. From a recent TV documentary, we can catch sight of the plights of this group of people. Nobody is willing to become a hawker unless forced upon by the situation. However, unemployment bites both the body and the soul. Losing a job, a person loses his dignity as well. Becoming a hawker is the only way out if you don't have the cheek to beg for Comprehensive Social Security Allowance from the Social Welfare Department.
Fr. Martin told us to reflect on our spending habits. It is truly convenient to be able to buy everything in one go in a supermarket. However, supermarket chains is a monopoly which is squeezing the survival space of some needy people. Let us be aware that our spending habit, our love of convenience is indirectly killing off some poor people in our society. If we do not make appropriate adjustments to our habit, we will become the cursed group on the left hand side of the King on the Judgment Day (Matthew 25:41).

Fr. Michael Yeung, another Vicar General, came to our parish to celebrate our Feast Day. His homily was not theological. He made good use of the occasion to help us count the blessings we have received from God in these 38 years. He also made use of the occasion of the Rite of Confirmation to help us meditate the life of Christ to discover when he acted like a king. He warned us of the two extremes which most people easily fall into when they think about the Kingdom of God. On one extreme, people fold their hands and do nothing to wait for the breaking-in of the Kingdom of God. On the other extreme, people work so hard as to force the hand of God to realize the Kingdom of God on earth. Both of them are wrong. For Fr. Michael Yeung, the Kingdom of God is now, this moment. Open our heart to embrace the will of the Father, like Jesus. The Kingdom of God is God's business. He will actualize it through us. He encouraged the recipients of Confirmation to lead a Christ-like life, always seeking the will of the Father.

Dear Lord, I pray for the recovery of my brother. I pray for the vocation of Titan. May he continue to serve You and receive Your grace. Amen.

Sunday 13 November 2011

How talented are you?

In my undergrad days, Personality was a compulsory course in Psychology. Part of the course dealt with a topic called "The Chinese Personality". It centred around a textbook of the same title edited by a Professor Li from Taiwan. At that time, we were very much fascinated and were not capable of criticizing its flaws. In hindsight, the methodology and theoretical basis were weak. At most, you can only draw some very vague generalizations of the attitudes of most Chinese of a particular age-group in a particular region. Even such a humble aspiration is full of pitfalls. What was true in the 1970's is no longer true today!
Does it mean that it is impossible to make any general comment on the behaviours of a certain people compared with others? But daily observations do confirm that Chinese immigrants are more hard working than the indigenous people and they do advance quickly in foreign societies. Chinese are not physically stronger. Nor are there any evidence of their superior intelligence. The social structure of a foreign society definitely does not favour them. So, how do we explain such successful phenomena without appealing to their personality?

As a Hong Kong Chinese, I suppose I am qualified to say something about the Chinese way of thinking as I understand it. Today, I want to focus on one particular aspect of Chinese culture: the way they deal with talents.
Every culture glorifies heroes and heroes are outstanding and talented. Unfortunately, different generations value and glorify different talents. In Tang Dynasty, poets were highly prized. Today, very few poets are able to survive the high living standards in Hong Kong. You do better if you are a computer wizard like Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. Therefore, if you have the "wrong" type of talents, you are unfortunate, to say the least.
But Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were not only gifted. They were path-breakers. They went all the way out to make things happen. Not so for the Chinese. Even if you have the right kind of talents, you need somebody who is able to discover your talents.  A Chinese idiom expresses it well: 世有伯樂然後有千里馬 In this world, you need a Pak Lok to discover a wonder horse. Woe to many whose talents are doomed not to be discovered and they die with bitterness. To console their bitterness, Confucius tells them to remain unagitated because they will be called a gentleman 人不知而不慍,不亦君子乎? Many Chinese suffer their frustrations and wait patiently to be discovered.

As a Catholic, we believe that God knows us all and gives us talents to serve. Today, the gospel reading (Matthew 25:14-30) tells us to make full use of our God-given talents because when we return to God, we need to settle account with Him. If we do well with our talents, we can enter into the joy of our master (Matthew 25:21b, 23b). If we "bury" our talents, God will cast us into the outer darkness, there men will weep and gnash their teeth (Matthew 25:30).
So, the next question is what God wants us to do with these talents. The answer is immediately given in the Parable of Sheep and Goats that follows (Matthew 25:31-46). God wants us to feed the hungry, drink the thirsty, shelter the homeless, clothe the naked, tender the sick and visit the imprisoned. It should be noted that the Lord will not judge whether we are baptized or not, whether we go to church regularly or not. Rather, he will award us for doing the six actions which do not require special talents, just a compassionate heart.  He will not cast us into the outer darkness for being slow in extending our helping hands to the needy. Better late than never. Moreover, he will give us many chances to make up what you have missed. You will be punished only if your hearts are so hardened that you do not even stop to buy a flag on the street from an enthusiastic student on Saturdays. Perhaps I am over-optimistic but it is my belief that God does not want to see us cast into the outer darkness. All in all, we do not need much talents to attain eternal life. Of course, being successful in this world is a different story.

Last Monday evening, my younger brother collapsed in his bath. He suffered a minor stroke and was hospitalized. God is very merciful to us. The limbs of my younger brother are not affected. He only loses some of his memories, his favourite Tang poems and he speaks more slowly than he used to do. Sometimes when he speaks, he cannot find the phrases he needs ... There is one more problem. He has difficulty swallowing the food. He loses his appetite. This is the worst and it worries us.
My younger brother retired early and remains single to take care of our aging parents who are now in their eighties; and release me to build up my family. We know that our happiness hinges on his sacrifice. He was an electrical engineer. He is independent, effective, systematic and resilient. On his sick bed, he reads and reads the pamphlets to rebuild his language. His attitude is very encouraging. May God have mercy on us to restore his health. In the meantime, Erminia and I will do whatever we can to repay him. It is our duty, not only our affection.

Dear Lord, I entrust my younger brother into thy hand. May he re-discover his faith in You. Grant him health, spiritual as well as physical. Amen.

Sunday 6 November 2011

Were the Wise Maidens Selfish?

We are approaching the end of the liturgical year which finishes at the Feast of Christ the King. It is only two weeks away. Therefore, the scripture readings in the Mass remind us again and again the importance of staying alert because nobody knows when the end comes, his personal end and the end of the world. Let us not be caught with our pants down.

The gospel reading today is the Parable of 10 Bridesmaids found in the gospel of Matthew only. The setting was a Jewish wedding scene. Wedding must have been the greatest and happiest event for a Jew. Therefore, there was nothing better than the wedding to symbolize the Kingdom of Heaven. This is how the parable begins.
Then the kingdom of heaven shall be compared to ten maidens who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom (Matthew 25:1). 
The Kingdom of Heaven is the major message Jesus proclaimed in his earthly ministry. At that time, Judah was no longer an independent nation. It was conquered by the Roman Empire and became its colony. Of course the Jews desired independence. Therefore, they were eager to hear what Jesus could offer to tell them about the upcoming Kingdom. They expected to hear something about the restoration of the Jewish state. But Jesus had a much bigger vision to tell them --- the Kingdom of Heaven. This idea was brilliant but intangible. Its contents were too difficult to grasp because it is something so unearthly. Therefore, Jesus employs parables to explain this vision which is so difficult to visualize. This time, Jesus wants to tell them that the Kingdom of Heaven will appear at the least expected moment. Therefore, stay alert and prepared for it will suddenly appear at the most unexpected moment.
Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour (Matthew 25:13).

This parable is situated after Jesus had explained the end of the world to his disciples and before two more parables about the end of the world. Therefore, there is no doubt that the Kingdom of Heaven refers to the end of the world. However, I think it is also possible to think of it as our personal demise.  At the end of the day, when we die, we leave this world. Isn't it the end of the world to us? On the personal level, "the day or the hour" may refer to our death. Nowadays, many people, even young people die a sudden death. Therefore, Jesus' advice is pragmatic. Stay prudent like the five wise bridesmaids for you do not know when you will meet your death which may sudden come when you least expect it. Of course, this interpretation is flawed because there are ten bridesmaids which means the story is about a community. It is not intended to be personal. But there is still personal relevance because each one of us has to face the end as a group and as an individual.

Then all those maidens rose and trimmed their lamps.
And the foolish said to the wise, 'Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.'
But the wise replied, 'Perhaps there will not be enough for us and for you; go rather to the dealers and buy for yourselves.'
(Matthew 25:7-9)
As a group, should we not support each other? As good Christians, should we not extend our charity and help the needy? Does it mean when the end of the world comes, we may relax our Christian ethics and care only of ourselves and ignore the plight of the others? Therefore, the reply of the wise bridesmaids sounds really selfish, though prudent.

On a second thought, we can easily see that there are things which we have to do ourselves and cannot delegate them to the others. As teachers, we prepare our students to sit for examinations but we cannot do the examination papers for them. We discourage them from copying homework because it is part of their trainings. Like athletes, they must do it themselves otherwise they will gain/learn nothing. This is blatant cheating! Unfortunately, we are living in a world of technological wonders which numb our sense of honesty. Medical technologies have opened up many such opportunities for cheating. From plastic surgeries to duping in sports, they are called enhancements. From surrogacy in child-bearing to tailor-made babies, they are called treatments etc. No wonder we easily overlook the importance of our participation and our responsibilities.

Why are the bridesmaids called wise? In Matthew, "wise" appears for the first time in chapter 7 (forget about the Magi in chapter 2 which some translations render "wise men").
Every one then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock (Matthew 7:24)
Christ is the bridegroom and all of us are the bridesmaids. The bridesmaids are wise because they have prepared well. They listen and do what Jesus has challenged us to do in Matthew 5-7. They have made good use of all the opportunities and potentials God has given them.
Indeed, the whole parable should be read together with chapter 7. There you will find the foolish bridesmaids who hears these words of mine and does not do them (Matthew 7:26). You will also find the famous "Lord, Lord" and "I do not know you" segments (Matthew 7:21-22, 25:11).
But doesn't Matthew 7:7 says that God will always answer our prayers, our needs?
Read more carefully what the foolish bridesmaids did when they returned and found the door shut. They didn't knock! How careful Matthew wrote his gospel!
So, how shall we knock? This is a good question for all of us to meditate. Share with us what God has revealed to you.

Dear Lord, I am wayward and timid. Boost my confidence so that I will be brave enough to put my foot out. Amen.