In our younger days, parents made choices for us. After having grown up, we make our choices. However, when we make choices, we make them under many constrains.
Gigi is the voluntary "official" babysitter of Symphorian. We don't have to pay her because Erminia is her god-mother. Whenever both of us are out, we will put Symphorian under her care. Of course, had Symphorian been a difficult child to handle, he would not have been so lucky to have Gigi as his babysitter. He gives her a lot of happiness because Gigi and her husband begot only one son who is already working in a bank. Gigi came from a rural background and naturally loves children. Therefore, she and her husband treat Symphorian like their own son. I am grateful to God that so many people show kindness to this child of ours. Symphorian has been very lucky. The flat we are living in is a bit crowded and Gigi lives in a more spacious flat. Therefore, Symphorian loves going to Gigi's flat whenever the opportunity arises.
This evening, we will be going over to Shatin to eat the Lunar New Year Eve reunion dinner. Symphorian will be meeting his cousin, Ainsley from Australia. They are of similar ages, Symphorian being a bit younger. Both of them enjoy each other's company though Symphorian has to speak in English. Though he is reluctant to speak English with us, Symphorian has not qualm speaking in English with this cousin from Australia. Now that there is a choice between going to Gigi's flat and meeting Ainsley in Shatin, how would Symphorian choose?
Sorry, Symphorian is too young. Erminia saves him from the "dilemma" of making a choice. She has chosen for him. After mass, they will be going to Shatin.
While I was wondering what this trivial incident I noticed meant for me, Fr. Martin gave me the answer in his homily this morning. The concept is indeed very ordinary --- marginal utility. Whenever we make a choice, we need to sacrifice the option which we do not choose. Life is fair. There is no free lunch. We cannot enjoy the best of both worlds. Either this world or that.
This morning, we read of the vocation story of Jesus' first disciples (Matthew 4:18-22), which has been read many many times. Usually, we focus on how the fishermen promptly answered Jesus' call. But Fr. Martin brought our attention to the necessity to sacrifice things we have cherished for a long time.
Fr. Martin began his homily with a reminder that all Christian churches pray for the unity of Christians this week. The Catholic Church has been split for more nearly a thousand years. In 1054, the Eastern Orthodox Church and the Roman Catholic Church broke up. Some 450 years later, the Protestant Reformation tore the European churches and states apart. After so many years of separation, each side has developed their own traditions. There are legitimate variations in liturgies and in theologies. Therefore, any attempt of Christian unity must take into consideration of the variety of traditions. Uniformity is out of the question. The Catholic Church cannot and should not demand Protestant pastors and Eastern priests to remain celibate. Nor can Protestants demand the Catholic Church to ordain woman priests or Catholic priests not to hear confessions. However, some sorts of concensus must be reached and in the course of reaching this concensus, some sacrifices/concessions need to be made.
I believe that such a schism, though tragic, is the will of God. Without His consent, nothing of such a grand scale would have been possible. Still, all Christians should strive for Christian unity because it is the will of God. The second reading today made it clear.
For it has been reported to me by Chloe's people that there is quarreling among you, my brethren.
What I mean is that each one of you says, "I belong to Paul," or "I belong to Apol'los," or "I belong to Cephas," or "I belong to Christ."
Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?(1 Corinthians 1:11-13)
Let me return to Martin's homily. He did not ask us to give up our families, like the first disciples, to answer God's call. Yet, we need to give up some of our long cherished prejudices in order to better receive God's grace. He took the Chinese Dog (唐狗) as an example.
The Chinese Dog is a mixed-breed dog. Therefore, people used to think that it was cheap. Nowadays however, with the advances in genetic knowledge, people begin to appreciate the advantages of mixed-breed dogs over purebred ones. People have to give up their long cherished belief in the purity of blood in order to enjoy the benefits of keeping healthier, more easily trained and more obedient mixed-breed dogs.
As for me, I am not adventurous enough to accept God's invitation to join Him. I have been very very hesitant in answering His call. Even today, I still question myself the motive behind my joining the diaconate. Do I want to buy a medical insurance? Have I long been feeling unappreciated and wanted to attain recognition of my talents inside the Church? Or do I love God and the Church so much so that I want to join the hierarchy to better serve Him and His Church? I am still unable to answer with certainty.
Unlike the pursue of priesthood, at this stage, I do not have to give up anything to pursue the diaconate. Indeed, I will be able to spend my retirement more meaningfully and fruitfully as a deacon. It is an attractive option. My God, I would be too selfish to reason along such a line. But I cannot refute such a line of accusation against myself.
Dear Lord, I do not love You enough. Perhaps I need to unload more in order to love You more. So, help me Lord. Amen.
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