Thank God, my younger brother was discharged from the hospital yesterday, Saturday. The doctors said there was nothing more the hospital could do. Five further consultations have been arranged in the next few weeks to monitor his situation. In the meantime, he has to keep his cholesterol level within limits.
My brother was an electrical engineer. True to his colours, he manages to contain the damages and minimizes the troubles his illness causes. The previous Saturday when he was released from the hospital "on holiday", he bought a netbook computer together with a 3G wireless router. From his hospital bed, he would be able to make video calls to our parents and to me. However, the damage has been done. Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) shows extensive blood clogs in his brain. Sometimes, not only does he lose some memories, but he also displays minor symptoms of mental retardation. On the other hand, my parents are old and on medication. My father always mixes up the pills which he and mum have to take both in the mornings and in the evenings. My younger brother could not hide his worries. He requested another holiday last week to attend to the medication problem. The best arrangement at the moment is to persuade my parents to move to Tuen Mun, to live near us so that we don't have to travel across the territory from west to east to cater for their daily needs. My brother joins me to persuade my parents. But moving back to Tuen Mun is an uprooting venture. My parents don't like the idea but they show signs of concession. Erminia has started looking for flats here in Tuen Mun with nearly identical designs with that of theirs in Chai Wan, hoping that they would suffer the least convenience.
This Saturday, I was shaken by a bad news. Five of us attended on the same day a Psychology Test conducted by Fr. George Zee, S. J. to help us discern our vocation as permanent deacons. We successfully became aspirants and began our deacon formation. Three of us enrolled immediately in the theology course while Fred did the same one year later. We study together and build up quite a deep bond. We admire each other, Cosmas for his righteousness and Titan for his resourcefulness and me, knowledge of the Bible. BB Joe, our senior, was the first to quit. He wrote a polite resignation letter to hide his bitterness. Fred could not complete his Year One course due to his day time work. The remaining three of us become more emotionally attached. During the summer, Cosmas was elevated a Candidate. Titan and I were happy about it. After nearly two and a half year, we began to see the first sign of success. We are patient because we know that the vocation would not be an easy path. When Titan told me that he would be meeting the Vicar General who is also the Formation Director of the deacons, I congratulated him, expecting to see him elevated. In the evening, I was shaken to read his email, informing Cosmas and me that the Director asked him to leave the formation programme, citing the reason that the Spiritual Director of Titan did not recommend his staying in the formation programme any more. The VG felt obliged to respect his recommendation. My faith in the hierarchy was shaken.
If there be any unsatisfactory performance on the part of Titan, shouldn't he be advised of the defects and given help to improve on them? There are perhaps many more reasons about which Titan has not told me or Titan himself has not be told. I have to tell myself that nothing could have happened without God's consent. His will is behind every event that happens and His arrangement is always the best for us. Titan is talented in his own way. A pre-Vatican II Catholic, he knows a lot of Latin hymns. He is a Chinese Literature/History panel-chair in the Salesian School. His Chinese language is impeccable and very often able to point out the typographical errors that plague the Diocesan publications and handouts from the professors etc. He has been very resourceful and he knows where his strength lies: history. As a Salesian, Titan, I am sure, is spiritually mature enough to cope with all the repercussions of this expulsion. On the other hand, I am not so sure about myself.
In the morning, Fr. Martin brought to our attention those who are currently most in need in Tung Chung and Tin Shui Wai --- the hawkers. From a recent TV documentary, we can catch sight of the plights of this group of people. Nobody is willing to become a hawker unless forced upon by the situation. However, unemployment bites both the body and the soul. Losing a job, a person loses his dignity as well. Becoming a hawker is the only way out if you don't have the cheek to beg for Comprehensive Social Security Allowance from the Social Welfare Department.
Fr. Martin told us to reflect on our spending habits. It is truly convenient to be able to buy everything in one go in a supermarket. However, supermarket chains is a monopoly which is squeezing the survival space of some needy people. Let us be aware that our spending habit, our love of convenience is indirectly killing off some poor people in our society. If we do not make appropriate adjustments to our habit, we will become the cursed group on the left hand side of the King on the Judgment Day (Matthew 25:41).
Fr. Michael Yeung, another Vicar General, came to our parish to celebrate our Feast Day. His homily was not theological. He made good use of the occasion to help us count the blessings we have received from God in these 38 years. He also made use of the occasion of the Rite of Confirmation to help us meditate the life of Christ to discover when he acted like a king. He warned us of the two extremes which most people easily fall into when they think about the Kingdom of God. On one extreme, people fold their hands and do nothing to wait for the breaking-in of the Kingdom of God. On the other extreme, people work so hard as to force the hand of God to realize the Kingdom of God on earth. Both of them are wrong. For Fr. Michael Yeung, the Kingdom of God is now, this moment. Open our heart to embrace the will of the Father, like Jesus. The Kingdom of God is God's business. He will actualize it through us. He encouraged the recipients of Confirmation to lead a Christ-like life, always seeking the will of the Father.
Dear Lord, I pray for the recovery of my brother. I pray for the vocation of Titan. May he continue to serve You and receive Your grace. Amen.
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