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Thursday 4 June 2015

Australian Same Sex Marriage, Part 3

"I myself as a believer and a mother, if one day my son tells me, 'I have found someone whom we love each other. We intend to get married to spend the rest of our life. But it is a he. Will you come to our marriage to give us your blessing?' I will say yes. This is the love of a mother towards her son. Among faith, hope and love, love is the greatest.  When you learn that sexual orientation is inborn, you will understand the wishes of homosexuals are based on love."

"When you learn that sexual orientation is inborn, you will understand the wishes of homosexuals are based on love."
Let me narrow down the sexual orientation to gay orientation. Human beings are the product of the interaction between nature and nurture. Human beings are born immaturely and they take years to interact with their environment to become what they are. Assuming that there are gay genes. Men born with gay genes have the potential to become fully blown gay. Some will successfully develop their gay potential while others do not, depending on the environment. A study of identical twins in 2000 yielded only a 20% concordance rate. That is to say, only one out of five pairs of identical twins are gay together. That is to say, there are many more factors during their formative years which determine the outcomes of inborn gay. (Interested readers can refer to a webpage I made and updated in 2014 on "Controversies over Same Sex Marriages", slide #21.) 
That is the reason why I strongly oppose gay couples adopting children, especially male children. Gay couples themselves are products of their gay potential with the environment. Men are known to modify their environment for their survival. Therefore gay people will modify their environment so that their gay potential may be actualized with the least hindrance. Even today, we do not have any screening tests to determine the sexual orientation of a baby. (Such a screening test is ethically questionable. Heterosexual parents cannot abandon their children born with gay potential, can they?) We believe that most babies are born heterosexual because we estimate that only 2% of the general population are gay. There is a 98% chance for gay couples to have adopted a heterosexual baby to be raised in a gay environment. No matter how much the gay couple love the heterosexual baby, the gay environment they create to live in will hinder the normal realization of the heterosexual orientation of the baby. That is my worry.

"I myself as a believer and a mother, ... , I will say yes. This is the love of a mother towards her son. Among faith, hope and love, love is the greatest."
I have no doubt about the love of my sister-in-love towards her son. I am sure her heart will ache when she says yes to her son. Erich Fromm named 4 basic elements in true love: care, responsibility, respect and knowledge. We have to admit that most of us are only successful in varying degrees of care, responsibility, respect and knowledge. Of course we care and carry out our parental responsibilities as much as we can. We respect the autonomy of our grown up children but not when they were young. Responsibility overwrote respect in their formative years. During their adolescence, parents knew less and less about their children when the generation gap widened. Therefore, it will not surprise me if one day, my son invites me to attend his wedding with a man. But our relationship must have been dysfunctional for a long time and I am responsible for that. I will attend the wedding but my heart bleeds. I am a failure for I have failed my son. How can I fail to know his gay orientation and fail to provide him with proper guidance when he was young? 
Respect does not forbid me from telling him the truth about human sexuality. The truth is that sex is not just for personal enjoyment, for making money and for building up relations etc. Sex is for procreation. There are different types of relationships. Relationship among basket team members is brotherhood. So are gay couples. NBA team members do not give birth to new human beings. So don't gay couples. Only heterosexual couples do. 
As a believer in Christ, I profess that love is the greatest among the three theological virtues. But love must be practised in truth. Otherwise, tragedies will catch us up.

p.s.
As a Catholic, I have developed a habit of reading the Bible reading of daily masses. On these couple of days we are reading Tobis which the Protestants treat as apographa because this book does not have a Hebrew version in the Old Testament. I would like to quote the prayer of Tobia and his wife Sarah, his kinswoman, on their wedding night.
Sarah had been married to 7 men before. A demon killed these 7 men before they could approach Sarah. She was cursed. The story of Tobia has a happy ending. With God's help, Tobia was able to free Sarah from the curse of the demon. Tobia redeemed Sarah. In a Christian marriage, husband and wife redeem each other. I am not sure how this may work out in gay unions.
"And now, O Lord, I am not taking this sister of mine because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that I may find mercy and grow old together with her. And she said with him, 'Amen.'" (Tobia 8:7-8)
The Greek original for "sincerity" is ἀληϑείας, in Latin veritate, both of which mean "truth".

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