Rise from old wounds

In the month of November, we remember the faithful departed. Death is a certainty for every mortal. Yet, we believe in eternal life. This belief helps us see beyond death. There is life out there after death. There is a flash of light, however dim, at the end of the tunnel. Life and death are the two faces of the same coin. When we contemplate one, we cannot ignore the other. When we stare death in the face, we see life behind it. When we wonder how good life is, death is lurking at the back. Therefore, we spend the whole month reflecting on life and death issues, remembering our ancestors and friends, praying for the souls in the purgatory etc.
Yesterday, I argued that Paul did not suffer from low self-esteem. The thesis expounded in The True Believer does not explain the case of Paul adequately. He was more like a merchant who had discovered a treasure.
Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as refuse, in order that I may gain Christ (Philippians 3:8)
He found in Jesus what he had never before experienced. Judaism did not give him such a conversion experience. In order to know this resurrection power, Paul was willing to suffer for Jesus.
that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,
that if possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead (Philippians 3:10-11).
Is the "if possible" an expression of humility, showing that Paul did not want to force the hand of God? Paul firmly believed that without God's intervention, we do not even know how to pray. On the other hand, was Paul's "doubt" on resurrection an evolution of the mind so as to know resurrection gradually?
When the S5 students leave, they like to exchange their memorial handbooks and write a phrase of blessing, encouragement etc. What is in a rose? Will it change if we call it a different name? etc. Trying to make life more manageable, I write the same phrase most of the time, for most of the students.
Brethren, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but one thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead (Philippians 3:13).
Between the lines and changes was the sunny day. So, don't be burdened by the past. Make this an offense even punishable by school regulations! Our new boss always says / wants to start things anew. I admire her eagerness but I don't think life works like this. We carry old grudges in our memory. We have a history on our back, old wounds on our shoulder. It will be difficult to forgive and forget though we know we should.

My dear Advocate, help us focus on You and forget our old wounds. Cover our sins so that we may start anew. Amen.