Moses the sojourner

The story of Moses is very complex. Let me go through some etymology stories first.
Moses was called Moses for a reason.
And the child grew, and she brought him to Pharaoh's daughter, and he became her son; and she named him Moses, for she said, "Because I drew him out of the water." (Exodus 2:10)

וַיִּגְדַּל הַיֶּלֶד, וַתְּבִאֵהוּ לְבַת-פַּרְעֹה, וַיְהִי-לָהּ, לְבֵן; וַתִּקְרָא שְׁמוֹ, מֹשֶׁה, וַתֹּאמֶר, כִּי מִן-הַמַּיִם מְשִׁיתִהוּ

Indeed, the name of Moses does not have much to do with מַּיִם water. It has more to do with "drawing out". The name of his son also carries a special meaning.
She (Zipporah) bore a son, and he called his name Gershom; for he said, "I have been a sojourner in a foreign land." (Exodus 2:22)

וַתֵּלֶד בֵּן, וַיִּקְרָא אֶת-שְׁמוֹ גֵּרְשֹׁם: כִּי אָמַר--גֵּר הָיִיתִי, בְּאֶרֶץ נָכְרִיָּה

I wonder which is a foreign land, Egypt or Midian, or both?

I cannot remember for how long this "I have been a sojourner in a foreign land" feeling has been occupying my mind. The origin may be traced back to the university years. In those days, undergrads in HKU ganged up into "patriots" who supported whatever was going on in mainland China; "socialists" who fought against the social evils in Hong Kong; "money-grabbers" who were actually full-time teachers in nearby schools but only part-time undergrads; carefree "playboys" who just wanted to enjoy life.
I have never been a convinced Marxist or Communist. Therefore, I could not identify myself with the patriots. True, I came from a low-income family and I had to earn my tuition fee during the first year because it took time to apply for grant-loan. So, I was not qualified to be a playboy, nor did I see myself a money-grabber. During my first year, I taught English in an evening school in So Uk. Imagine the daily trek --- Choi Hung to HKU to So Uk and back to Choi Hung. No wonder I was not able to build up any sense of belonging in the first year. I was really a sojourner.
Since year two, I had earned enough tuition fee and obtained enough grant-loan to continue my study without unnecessary distraction. Despite the daily travel from Choi Hung to HKU, I could still manage to befriend more undergrads in the Social Sciences faculty. I identified myself more with the "socialists" and did not find any contradiction with my Catholic faith. For me, social action is compatible with Jesus' teaching to help the needy. I joined the Union Choir because I enjoy singing; organized the first Psychology Exhibition and took to the street to protest against the increase in telephone charge. Perhaps I was not committed enough, the feeling of alienation still hung over my mind.

After graduation, I landed a teaching job in La Salle College. At first, I had prejudice against the rich. It was never my ambition to serve these elite students. I studied science in a secondary school. I switched to social sciences in the university because at that time, I wished to become a social worker to help the poor and the needy. In the end, I turned out to teach these children from the upper class of the society. My dream did not come true. Since 1988, I was diagnosed a diabetic. I became much withdrawn.
I think I have been a dedicated teacher, committed to the upbringing of young people whether they are rich or poor. However, the feeling of alienation still hangs over my mind. I feel like an outsider rather than a LaSallian or a Shungtakian. I don't know what has kept a sense of belonging from budding. There is a certain reservation that pulls my leg, that prevents me from a full commitment in these two schools. To this date, I refuse to become the panel head of the RS department. I have stepped down from the post in La Salle before. Why bother to take it up in Shung Tak, only to step down again? I can leave any time I want. Had I held up the position, I would have stayed in La Salle instead of teaching here now in Shung Tak.
Tell me. What is it that pulls my leg? I just don't know what it is. My personality flaw? My health? This sojourner feeling is not good at all. It prevents me from leading my life to the full. A large part of it has been wasted. What a pity!

Dear Lord, perhaps it is my destiny to be a sojourner for the whole of my life. Be it sojourner or no sojourner, help me lead it to the full. Amen.