What is your capacity?

Most of us are not greedy, but we usually want more: more food to eat, more money to spend and more space in my flat etc. Wanting more is not bad because it drives us to work better, harder and more efficiently. Doubtless to say, given the same attribute, we are different in our capacities.  For example money. Some people are very good at handling huge sums of money. Some, I for one, are idiots in managing their own as well as others' finance. I am too insensitive to monetary numerals whereas my eldest son, Hilary, is good at calculating financially. It is my belief that if we try to handle sums of money beyond our financial management capacities, we are doomed to bankrupt. Of course, I do not deny the readers' potential to develop their financial management talents.

The gospel reading today is well-known. Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother. Was 7 times generous enough? No. Not enough, Jesus demanded 70 times 7 (Matthew 18:22). Then Jesus told the famous parable of a bad servant, in which a king forgave the 10,000 talents of debt owed by the bad servant who did not forgive the 100 denarii of his fellow servant. Of course, the king was angry and the bad servant is sent to jail until he repaid every cent (Matthew 18:23-34). The teaching is obvious. God is merciful in forgiving our sins. Therefore, we should forgive our brothers.
OK, some clarification of measurements: 1 denarius is the wage of 1 day. In Hong Kong, the minimum wage is set at $28 per hour since May 1 this year. Suppose a man works 10 hours a day. Therefore, 1 denarius is equivalent to $280. The fellow servant owed the bad servant $28,000 (roughly US$3,590).
On the other hand, 1 talent is equivalent to about 1200 ounces of gold which closed at US$1855 an ounce on September 10, 2011. Therefore, 1 talent worths roughly 2.2 million US Dollar ( $2,226,000) and 10,000 talents is 22 billion US Dollar, ranking 18^th in Forbes 2011 list (Bill Gates 56B and Li Ka-shing 26B)! How impressive but mind-numbing our debts are!

I am not trying to defend the bad servant. The fact is, for some people, $3,600 is easier to understand than $22,000,000,000. Many people who sit in committees to vet budgets must have the following experience. They spend less than 10 minutes to pass a billion-dollar project but many hours to debate whether it is value-for-money to spend $500 more to hire or to buy a new photocopying machine for teachers. Why is there such a difference? Size does matter. We think we understand $500 better than $1,000,000,000.
Similarly, twenty two billion is too mind-numbing. We do not know how bad our debt position is. Therefore, when God forgives us, we take it for granted. But we know what three thousand six hundred is. It hurts when you lose it. It hurts when you could have enjoyed 5 holiday package tours to Phuket happily. No wonder the bad servant was so fierce as to seize the throat of his fellow servant.
The king sent the bad servant to jail until he repaid in full. The bad servant would have enough time to learn what 22 billion means.

Let us return from the parable world to real life. Who can offend you often so that you can forgive them 70 times 7? They cannot be strangers or casual acquaintance whom we do not meet often. They must be people we see nearly everyday. They are, our immediate family members and colleagues in the workplace. They are people from whom you cannot run away. They can hurt you most. Here, we must face the fact that we cannot change them. What we can change is ourselves, our perception. In fact, to forgive them is to release ourselves. Here lies the wisdom. Indeed, by releasing, we increase our capacity. So, start releasing today.

Dear Lord, we are tiny vessels. Our capacity is meagre. Give us the grace we need to forgive so that we can increase our capacity to receive more grace from You. Amen.