I do not envy Samuel

All my children were baptized when they were infants. Hilary, my eldest son has not gone to Church since he attended secondary school. May God have mercy on him and on me. Wulstan goes regularly and and has taken over the choir I have served. Saturnia prefers shopping around and meeting more people. Symphorian is still young and obeys us. Sometimes, he complains, asking why Hilary doesn't go and he has to go.
Have I deprived them of their religious freedom? Should I allow them to make their own decisions when they grow up? Of course not. Should I allow them to choose their surname when they grow up? Of course not. As responsible parents, we often make the best choices for them before they grow up. I had done my part in his younger days. Nowadays, I cannot force Hilary to go to Church. It is his own responsibility to take care of his relation with God. I am sure God will take good care of Hilary. Of course, I am not asking for the same miracle as Samuel (1 Samuel 3:3-10, 19-20). Not everybody can enjoy the achievements of Samuel. He was the king-maker of Israel for the first two kings were anointed by him. The best of all, his words never failed.
And Samuel grew, and the LORD was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground (1 Samuel 3:19).
But I do not envy Samuel.

Truly, all of us were called by God. Otherwise, none of us would have become Catholics. We must have gone through processes similar to those gone through by Samuel. Somebody in our life must have played the role of Eli and helped us discern the call of God. However, not all of us can directly communicate with God, like Samuel. However, I repeat. I do not envy Samuel.
As a Catholic, how often do we find our prayers fruitless, our spiritual life dries up and our inability to hear from God frustrating? Isn't it our dream to be able to communicate directly with God, like Samuel and Jesus? Isn't it wonderful to be able to know the will of God? The answer is a paradoxical no. Otherwise, we may not be able to bear the burden while waiting for the fulfillment of God's will, here understood as private revelations.


Let's consider the case of Jesus. Though he is truly human, Jesus, in his fully grown human stage, knew perfectly the will of God. That was why after the Last Supper in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was in great agony so much so that he sweated blood because he could visualize how terribly he would suffer to death a few hours later (Luke 22:44). Unlike Mose who successfully persuaded God to change His mind (Exodus 32:11-14), Jesus submitted to the will of God. 
Father, if thou art willing, remove this cup from me; nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done (Luke 22:42).


Let's consider the case of Samuel. After God had established contact with Samuel, the first thing God revealed to Samuel was the punishment of the family of Eli who helped him establish contact with God. The next morning, Samuel hesitated to tell Eli about it. But Eli knew very well the evils done by his sons and his fault of not restraining them. Eli was expecting God's punishment and nothing Samuel said surprised him.
My point is this. If we know too much, we may not be able to bear the emotional burden. Imagine this situation. Suppose you are working in the parish office. One day, a lady friend of yours, or simply someone whom you don't personally know, comes to the office to book the Church for her wedding in six months' time. However, God reveals to you that your friend/the lady will become a widow the next morning after her wedding. What would you feel? What would you do? Would you, like Moses, persuade God to change His mind, or persuade the lady to change hers? No wonder, the word burden מַשָּׂא also means prophecies and oracles uttered by God.

Except for a handful of saints to whom God reveals His will directly, most of us live by faith. Without foreknowledge, we rely on faith in Jesus to weather through uncertainties. One of the disadvantages of knowing the will of God directly is that we will become complacent. We tend to fold our hands up and let an event run its natural course. We don't want to rock the boat. We don't want to disturb the holiness of God. Another disadvantage is that few people will take us seriously and we don't want to look like a fool in front of the others.

But are we not baptized into Christ's offices of king, priest and prophet? And as prophets, are we not supposed to proclaim the will of God? Yes we do. But public revelation had already finished at the death of the last Apostle. Everything we need to know about our salvation has been totally revealed and recorded in the Scripture. The only thing we need to do is to discern the will of God from the Scripture and the Sacred Tradition. Throughout the ages, there have been private revelations to saints that add nothing extra to the fidei depositum of the Christian faith. Of course, the will of God is much larger in scope than this deposit of Christian faith and it is in this region that I do not envy Samuel.

Not too deep in me there is a desire to do the will of God and I hope what I have been doing is not too far removed from His design. I will always keep myself aware of this desire and do likewise. And of course, a lot of people have and are helping me all along and I am indebted to them all and knowing well that I will not be grateful enough to acknowledge them one by one. I will keep them all in my prayers. May God bless them all.

Dear Lord, Your will be done whether I am aware of it not. If I find favour in Your sight, let me be a part of Your will. Amen.