This morning, Fr. Milanese did the homily and I had one more chance to learn from him. He gave me another perspective to look at Thomas the Apostle. Because of the apparition story in John 20, "Doubting Thomas" has been ingrained into the psyche of Christians throughout the centuries. Thanks to St. Thomas the Apostle, doubting the Lord is not a sin! One can doubt the Lord and become a saint! Of course, St. Thomas was a saint not because of his doubts. He became a saint because after having his doubts removed, he bore witness to the risen Lord with his life. He is very human and close to us.
Fr. Milanese gave the congregation another perspective which very few people have ever thought about. While all the disciples went into hiding to save their skins, Thomas was brave enough to go out for an errant. In his absence, the Lord appeared to the remaining 10 Apostles and some other disciples. The Lord gave them the Holy Spirit and commissioned them to be ambassadors of reconciliation (John 20:19-23). Which means they should also go outside rather than going into hiding. This, Thomas had already done.
The story goes that when Thomas returned, he did not believe in the testimony of the disciples. This was rather odd for a Jew because even in legal proceedings, the testimony of two witnesses was enough to establish the truth of a point of contention. Here, we have more than 10 witnesses. It would be rather out of the norm for a Jewish Thomas to doubt the testimony of his brethren. How would they conspire to cheat a fellow believer? I would give Thomas the benefit of doubt. Thomas must have doubted the testimony of his brethren for reasons we do not yet know. Perhaps Thomas was a "victim" cast into a doubting role in story telling. I would not pass judgment on him. In the gospel narrative, Thomas was not given enough opportunity to defend himself.
However, St. Thomas was not without flaw. Fr. Milanese pointed out that Thomas, and all of us, should rely on the Christian community to support his and our faith. The Apostles were blessed because they were first generation Christians who had lived with, heard of and even touched Jesus. Beginning with the second generation, Christians have to rely on the testimony of the previous generations. That is why the gospel of John has to make it clear that "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe." (20:29) This must be the major theme of this apparition story.
St. Thomas was flawed in one more account. He downgraded faith from the spiritual to the material level! He imposed a criterion for faith --- physical proof. This criterion is attractive and popular. Following his example, many Christians have attempted to prove/explain Biblical mysteries in more physical and tangible ways. Of course, faith must have a rational foundation. Otherwise, it is not different from superstition. However, the Lord refuses to be confined within our materialistic criteria. Using theological jargon, the truth of Jesus is Uncreated while our "scientific" truths are created. There is an unfathomable gap between the Uncreated Being of God and this created universe in which we exist. How is it possible for us, a creature, to gauge the infinite Uncreated truth of Jesus with our finite created tools? Not without divine intervention and this is exactly what God has done. In the end, it needed a God, a Jesus who was willing to retain his wounds and to reach out to Thomas, inviting him to put out his finger and hand into them. It is beyond our imagination to come up with a God who refuses to heal his wounds, who is willing to suffer and die. There is no created truth powerful enough to explain this Uncreated mystery. It requires faith in the love of God to hang on to this mystery without ever understanding it. Even the words faith and love are not powerful enough to describe this mystery called God. There is always a tension within this faith in God. But we are sure that whenever we demand too materialistic an explanation, or impose too empirical a criterion, we are farther away from the Uncreated truth. To a certain extent, faith is also a gift from God.
Dear Lord, remove our fear to have faith in You. Amen.
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