The Holy Family is the most primitive social structure --- a mother, her child and a sponsor who is not the biological father of the child. To the eyes of outsiders, the Catholic Church strangely encourages her believers to take the Holy Family as the exemplar of all Catholic families. Is the Catholic Church promoting unwed motherhood because the BVM was an unwed mother? Is the Catholic Church promoting sexual abstinance for husbands because the Catholic Church teaches that the virginity of the BVM is perpetual? Of course not. The Holy Family was a family living through extreme difficulties. What began as an ordinary Jewish family was turned upside down with the intrusion of God's intervention. The betrothed Mary was found to be pregnant from the Holy Spirit. A good virgin was turned into an unwed mother. Poor Joseph, instead of building up a normal family, he became the guardian of the BVM and the Son of God on earth. He could not desire his betrothed anymore because she belonged to him no more. She belonged to God.
So, what does the Catholic Church wants her believers to follow? According to the teaching of the Catholic Church, the Holy Family is an exemplar of a God-centred family. And because of their faith in God, the Holy Family was able to endure all sorts of difficulties. The Catholic Church also teaches that Jesus is truly God. Therefore, Jesus is the centre of the Holy Family. Mary and Joseph demonstrated how mankind is able to relate to God meaningfully in a family. The first couple, Adam and Eve, failed to do so because they were driven out of the Paradise by God due to their disobedience. The Holy Family made up what our First Parents had failed to achieve. Both the BVM and Joseph followed the will of God to rear the Son of God up into a perfect human being.
Since primitive tribal age, the institution of family has served the society well through different stages of social evolution: gathering & hunting, farming and industrialization. In this post-industrialization age, the institution of family is beset on all sides. The popularization of contraception has freed man from the fear and guilt of the consequences of extra-marital sex: pre-marital sex, cohabitation and adultery carry no consequences. Economic independence enables women to rely less on husbands. Therefore, the number of single-parent families as a result of divorces or simply pre-marital sex is on the rise. Children raised in such incomplete family backgrounds will surely suffer. Even if the single parent is able to handle the physical and financial needs, I doubt very much if the great love of the single parent is able to satisfy all the emotional, intellectual, interpersonal and spiritual needs of the developing children. I just cannot imagine how the BVM could raise an infant Jesus healthily without Joseph, not to mention Joseph raising the infant Jesus without the BVM. For various reasons, in particular the high prices of housing in Hong Kong, young people cannot afford financially as well as psychologically to get married to build up their own families. Perhaps they don't want to. We, the older generation, believe in the merits of the social institution of family. But food to one is poison to the others. Perhaps young people today no longer believe in the necessity of family in the virtual reality of their world, their reality. Therefore, any form of relationship, whether heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual is acceptable because they are not able to distinguish the advantages and disadvantages of these different kind of relationships. Novelty is music to their ears. Catholic family values such as fidelity and chastity are all Greek to them. The affluent societies today are able to support such a mentality which the feudal agricultural societies in previous generations would sure condemn.
The Holy Family is a deep mystery which is difficult to fathom. Just think about it. How can human family members work together to raise up their God from an infant to a mature teenager? Can human really do any work to rear an infant God? I don't think I know. However, I feel that the infant God was actually teaching the BVM and Joseph how to rear him, e.g. Luke 2:49. So, don't despise and overlook what the younger generation may offer us. There might be truth in their views of the reality and perhaps God is speaking to us through them. (I write this in the aftermath of OC.)
Infant Jesus, teach us how to raise the awareness of your presence in our family. Amen.
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