Family disputes

Man is mortal. One day, he will return to dust whether he likes it or not. Some people will die unfulfilled because there are a lot of things unaccomplished. Many want someone to continue their ambitions. Others have accumulated a lot of wealth and naturally they don't want their hard-earned estates to be inherited by someone unrelated. Naturally, they want not just to pass on their land and property. They want to pass on their genes and have these genes well provided for. The institution of marriage satisfies this requirement. Marriage legitimizes the inheritors. Of course, nowadays, people are more open-minded so that illegitimate children born out of wedlock are entitled to inherit the estates of their parents.
Abram's family was far from being ideal. Sarai failed to bear him a son to inherit his property. To solve this problem, Sarai came up with an idea.
and Sarai said to Abram, "Behold now, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children; go in to my maid; it may be that I shall obtain children by her." And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai (Genesis 16:2).
This would be unimaginable in China. If the wife bore no child to the husband, the law allowed the busband to divorce her. It was the common practice in ancient China up to the Qing dynasty. Of course, Abram loved Sarai very much and divorce was out of question. Ancient law also allowed a husband to get a concubine to bear him children. But usually, it was the husband who initiated the move, not the wife. Sarai was a very good wife indeed. She cared about Abram and took the initiative.
So, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram's wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her maid, and gave her to Abram her husband as a wife (Genesis 16:3).
Notice the status of Hagar. She became a wife, not a concubine. Abram was then 85.
A maid remains always a maid. Hagar became arrogant once she was conceived.
And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress (Genesis 16:4).
Sarai had never treated Hagar as equals. She remained the mistress of Hagar and treated her like a maid as before. Hagar would never gain the status of a wife. Again, Kant would frown on such an arrangement which violates the second maxim of his Categorical Imperative.
Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, always at the same time as an end and never merely as a means to an end.
The end was to produce a son for Abram to inherit his property. Hagar was the means. This was blatant patriarchism. It reduced women to the status of a child-bearing machine. In modern eyes, both Sarai and Hagar were victims of such a pungent system. What was more sinister was the fact that one of the victims, in this case Sarai, had a share in the exploitation of a fellow victim. Here, I see the darker side of an etymology story. I have probably supplied ammunitions for feminist authors to attack the Bible and the patriarchic system it puts into writing.
Infuriated by her maid, Sarai complained to Abram.
And Sarai said to Abram, "May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my maid to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the LORD judge between you and me!" (Genesis 16:5).
Sarai was truly a matriarch. She invoked God to judge between Abram and her, putting herself on equal footing with Abram the patriarch. She saw Hagar a challenge, a threat to her status. It was intolerable. Hagar was no sister, but a maid!
But Abram said to Sarai, "Behold, your maid is in your power; do to her as you please." Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from her. (Genesis 16:6)
Abram's reaction was mind-boggling for us Chinese. Cornered by Sarai, Abram did not defend Hagar and his own genes! It is incredible! No such thing could have happened in any Chinese family. Chinese, men and women, put top priority on the sons. A husband favours whoever bearing his child. A barren wife will only resign to her fate. Abram's reaction was mind-boggling, mind-boggling.
God appeared and sent Hagar back, telling her to submit to her mistress, sanctioning the patriarchic system (Genesis 16:9).
This is an etymology story. It explains the meaning of Ishmael.
you shall call his name Ish'mael; because the LORD has given heed to your affliction (Genesis 16:11b)

יִשְׁמָעֵאל כִּי-שָׁמַע יְהוָה אֶל-עָנְיֵךְ

and Beerlahairoi.
"Thou art a God of seeing"; for she said, "Have I really seen God and remained alive after seeing him?"
Therefore the well was called Beer-lahai-roi; (Genesis 16:13b-14a).

אַתָּה אֵל רֳאִי כִּי אָמְרָה הֲגַם הֲלֹם רָאִיתִי--אַחֲרֵי רֹאִי
עַל-כֵּן קָרָא לַבְּאֵר, בְּאֵר-לַחַי-רֹאִי

The runaway story will continue in Genesis 21 for good.
Dear Lord, teach me the true meaning of this story. It is too unpalatable for me for now. Monogamy is good enough. Amen.