Be my Brother's Keeper

After killing Abel, Cain left us an immortal epitaph: "Am I my brother's keeper?" (Genesis 4:9b)
Of course, Cain could not run away from his sins, his failures to fulfill the obligations towards his brother because God had been watching all along. He had forgotten this.

No man is an island. Whenever there is a relation, there are rights and duties accompanying the relation. That is the characteristics of Chinese Ethics. They seldom think in abstract terms or formulate universal ethical principles. They will not ask the following hypothetical question:
What if I am "forced" into a relation?
Sorry, there are only relations and there is no such thing as a "forced-into" relation. Do such relations ever exist?
Yes, they do. So, they do, but you have no choice.
Consider Cain again. Should Adam and Eve seek his consent before conceiving Abel? It is unthinkable. So, Cain could not disown this sibling relation and had to fulfill his duties as Abel's keeper and vice versa, however reluctant he was. Hard luck, Cain. The remaining sensible thing to do is to make the relationship as beneficial to both parties as possible, to build up a so called win-win situation. Very  often, we have forgotten this.

There are a lot of relations into which we freely choose to enter. Some people weigh very carefully the costs and benefits before they do. Let's forget about the insincerity created by such calculations which in themselves are bad because nobody can accurately predict, not to mention measure, the potential benefits accrued in a relation. There are also unintended benefits (and of course unintended costs as well) arising from a relation. Relations are so full of promises and yet so easily destroyed by calculations! Forgive me here. I am not encouraging people to enter any relations blindly.
Some lack confidence and withdraw or keep a distance from a relation after the first few encounters. Alas! how they miss the new opportunities opened up in new relations. So, we see that self-confidence is also a factor in the building up and maintenance of relations. If your partner lack self-confidence, which is built up or destroyed in relations, you are doing humanity a favour by encouraging/building up his/her self-confidence through the relation. The human race will become one man (woman) better. Very often, we forget this. We tend to prefer eliminating one more competitor to edifying one more companion.

This Sunday is Vocation Sunday. We read John 10:1-10, just stopped short at "I am the Good Shepherd"! We only came to "I am the door" (John 10:9). This sounds very much like what Jesus would say in answering Thomas' question during the Last Supper that "I am the Way, and the Truth and the Life." (John 14:6). The meaning is clear enough. Jesus is the door. Through him, we enter eternal life.
Traditionally, we pray in particular for priestly vocation today. Fr. Martin reminded us to reflect on our own life to see whether we have come up to serve the Church, to serve the parishioners. All vocations are calls to serve and priestly vocation serves in a particular way. In my younger days, seeing the selfless dedication of the PIME priests, I once entertained the thought of becoming one. But I did not have the grace to receive this blessing. God has other plans for me. I know myself better today and I trust God's arrangement is best for me and for His Church. I am a sensuous man. My becoming a priest might have brought more harms and scandals than good to the Church. God is wise.
Now that I am married and have fathered four children, I have entered another stage of my life, hopefully older and wiser. I am contemplating the vocation of becoming a permanent deacon. Is God really calling me to serve His Church and His people? Is the wish of becoming a permanent deacon a compensation for the lost dream of becoming a priest? These day, I worry less about my own health because I trust that God will give me enough support to serve Him. Rather, am I serving His will or my own will? These are some of the questions occupying my mind.

Dear Lord, "when I am old, I will stretch out my hands, and another will gird me and carry me where I do not wish to go." (John 21:18b) May Your will be done. Amen.