Global Chinese Permanent Deacon Symposium (I)

I asked from my school a 4-day leave to join the Global Chinese Permanent Deacon Symposium. I am badly in need of a longer retreat to reflect on my vocation. I thank my colleagues in the Ethics and Religious Studies Department for their generosity to replace all my lessons. Even though I am entitled to hire a supply teacher when a leave lasts for three or more days, the school says it was rather impossible to hire a supply teacher to take up my lessons! Meanwhile, two Chinese teachers and the Principal chaperoned a group of Italian students to Beijing for about 5 days. Supply teachers were hired. I should be elated for being indispensable.

13 overseas Chinese permanent deacons from Australia, Belgium, Canada and USA came to join this Symposium. One of them is Deacon Peter Fan who is my ex-colleague in La Salle and an alumnus. It is a great pleasure to meet him again after more than three decades. Yesterday he also took part in our Deacon Ordination Mass in which three candidates were ordained. John Lam, another deacon candidate like me and a La Salle old boy, came to the banquet afterwards and I introduced him to Peter. We cracked jokes, saying that La Salle was a breeding ground of Deacon vocation. The subtext is "Celibacy is too demanding for La Salle boys."

I was a bit crestfallen when I learned that this Symposium was meant for permanent deacons only. I should not have taken part in the first place and I should not volunteer to get Erminia involved playing the organ in the liturgy.
The site, a retreat house run by the St. Paul nuns in Sheung Shui, provides wifi access to the Internet. However, the wifi is plagued with outages most of the time. So, when the problem came up again, I was eager to help solve the problem together with another candidate, Simon Chan who came to provide IT support for the event. In fact, Simon is more knowledgeable. I simply try to justify my presence in this Symposium. To rub salt on my wounds, I was not informed of my room until after the briefing before going to bed.
When I learnt that the lady translator also plays organ and despite the fact that the Vicar General had explicitly told me to stick to the present arrangement, I still tried to persuade her to play the organ in the liturgy as well so that Erminia would not have to travel back and forth, from here to school to home and return here. After the lady had expressed her wish to focus on one job, I gave up. I surrendered and let God take over.

From these bits and pieces, I gradually realize that I have always been trying to take control. I need to make others feel that I am important/indispensable. Forgive me, Lord. I am an unworthy servant. Allow me to learn to serve sincerely and not to be served. Amen.