主題：空虛自己
聖保祿宗徒對耶穌基督的死，寫了以下的讚歌。
耶穌基督是真人真天主，祂有完全的自由，世上沒有任何事物可以束縛祂。即使是值得把持不捨的，令凡人死不放手的，祂也極其輕鬆地放下。始終，耶穌基督不是一般的凡人嘛！我們卻不同，不是我們天生傲慢，而是我們背著歷史的包袱，成長的創傷，令我們失去自由，受到性格的牽制，擺出不友善的姿態來保護自己。天父，可憐我們吧！
四十多年來的聖詠團經驗，令我形成了不少的執著。例如：江文也先生創作了不少膾炙人口的中文聖樂，他不是廣東人，所以用國語唱他的作品比較悅耳舒暢。二十多年前我已在自己的堂區推動，我認為效果理想。到了目前的堂區服務，曾向歌詠團提出，可是他們反應冷淡，推說他們的普通話水平不理想。我感到非常失望。
我的兒子是哲學系畢業的，為了預防腦退化，我很喜歡和他爭辯。當我提出這個處境時，他給我另一個思考的角度。他問我，語文的純潔性，與會眾的神益，哪個重要？這個兒子真棒，竟用詭辯！靜悄悄地，他把二者放在對立面上！好小子，當初我為甚麼用國語唱江文也先生的作品呢？難道我想團員們唱得舒服嗎？難道我沒有考慮會眾用國語唱，會更好地進入祈禱的狀態嗎？
我喜歡引進一些有挑戰性的歌曲，不單是為了團員們的益處，更是為了會眾的益處。簡單容易的歌曲，團員很容易生厭；會眾唱慣了同一套歌曲，亦會感到彌撒沉悶。因此，即使是中文的彌撒，間中我會選唱一些動聽並且配合讀經的英文聖詠，甚至拉丁原文。唱拉丁文，很多老教友十分雀躍，而大部份的會眾亦很接受；青年彌撒更唱了不少英文聖詠！復活前夕有兩首「逾越頌」，我當然不會選擇唱簡式，唱簡式簡直浪費了天主賜予我的歌唱能力！我的天主，我的謙遜去了哪！
今年是我領職的第三年，天主的恩寵不斷地催促我更新成長。上星期三，我辦告解時哭了；今年的復活前夕，主祭要求我唱逾越頌的簡式。他說觀察了兩年，發覺教友未達到祈禱的水準，投入逾越頌的完整式。為甚麼到第三年他纔這樣要求，當中的醜事，就不用再提了！我並沒有耶穌基督的自由，我經歷了很大的內心掙扎，甚至反撲（提出用國語唱簡式，太執著了！）。終於今天我與令我「失望」的聖詠團一起練習。感謝天主，今次我勝利了！不過我知道，這場好仗，我並未打完（弟後4:7）因為「我們幾時住在這肉身內，就是與主遠離。」（格後5:6）
「他雖具有天主的形體，並沒有以自己與天主同等，為應當把持不捨的，卻使自己空虛…祂貶抑自己，聽命至死，且死在十字架上。」（斐2:6-8）
的確，耶穌基督留下了謙遜的榜樣，作為基督徒的我們，謙遜是理所當然的。可是，真的嗎？原來謙遜真是得來不易啊！
天主保祐！
Palm Sunday of the Passion of the Lord, Year B
Theme: Empty Oneself
St. Paul wrote the following ode for the death of Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ is truly human and truly divine. He is totally free. Nothing on earth can bind him. Even though it is something worth grasping, something to hold on unto death, He can easily put it down. After all, Jesus Christ is not a mere mortal! We are different. We were not born arrogant but the historical burdens and developmental traumas we carry deprive us of freedom. We are hindered by our personality to put up an abrasive front to protect ourselves. Heavenly Father, have mercy on us!
As a result of four decades of experience in the church choir, I have not a few insistences. For example, Mr. Jiang Wen-ye wrote many popular hymns in Chinese style. He was not a Cantonese. Therefore, singing his hymns in Mandarin will be more comfortable and pleasing to the ears. I promoted singing his hymns in this way in my parish more than two decades ago. I believe the effect is ideal. In the parish I am now serving, I mentioned this to the choir but they were not enthusiastic. As an excuse, they said their Mandarin proficiency was not good enough. I was very disappointed.
My son studied philosophy. To prevent Alzheimer, I enjoy arguing with him. When I brought up this situation, he gave me another perspective. He asked, "Which is more important, purity of language or prayerful spirituality?" This boy is really smart. He tried to trick me into a fallacy! Imperceptibly, he pitched one against the other! My lad, why did I use Mandarin to sing the works of Mr. Jiang in the first place? Did I want the choir members to sing comfortably? Had I not thought about that using Mandarin would help the parishioners enter a prayerful mood more readily?
I like to introduce some challenging hymns not just for the benefits of the choir members but also for the parishioners. Choir members will easily be fed up by easy hymns. The parishioners will also find mass boring if we keep on singing the same set of hymns. Thus sometimes, in Chinese mass, I would choose some inspiring English hymns which fit the readings, even the Latin original. When Latin was sung, many old parishioners were delighted and most of the congregation enjoyed it. In youth masses, we sang a lot of English hymns. There are two Chinese versions of Præconium Paschale Exsultet. Of course I will not choose the simplified version. What a waste of God's talentum for me to sing the simplified! OMG, where has my humility gone!
This is my third year of ordination. God's graces keep on urging me to renew and grow. Last Wednesday, I cried in receiving the Sacrament of Reconciliation. This year, the chief celebrant of Easter Vigil told me to sing the simplified version of Præconium Paschale Exsultet. He explained that after two years of observation, he found that the parishioners had not reached the prayerful level to embrace the full version of Præconium Paschale Exsultet. There is no need to enumerate my shortcomings leading to his demand in the third year. But I do not possess the freedom of Jesus Christ. I underwent a lot of inner struggles and even tried to strike back (I requested singing the simplified version in Mandarin! How stubborn I was!) At last, I practised with the "disappointing" choir today. Thank God, I have overcome! But I know this fight is not yet over (2 Timothy 4:7) because "While we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord." (2 Corinthians 5:6)
"Though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself ... he humbled himself and became obedient unto death, even death on a cross." (Philippians 2:6-8)
Indeed, Jesus Christ has left behind an exemplar of humility. As Christians, we should be humble. Indeed? In reality, humility comes with a price!
God bless!
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