Honour Your Parents 孝敬父母

Feast of the Holy Family, Year C
Theme: Honour Your Parents 孝敬父母

In Year C, we meditate the story of boy Jesus in the Temple. In the past few weeks, I was talking about the Ten Commandments in my catechumen class. Naturally, my meditation gravitates towards the fourth Commandment, viz. “Honour Thy Parents”. In ancient times, this Commandment was unidirectional, viz. what children had to do as well as what not to do towards their parents. By extension, this Commandment also included what obligations commoners had to observe towards the states. In modern times when people in general demand greater respect of their human rights from the sovereignty, this Commandment becomes bi-directional. Parents as well as governments must also do their parts towards their children and their subjects as well. Let us examine today’s gospel text.

Luke’s narrative continues from the story of Presentation where Joseph and Mary presented the 40-day old infant Jesus, Mary’s first born to the Temple as prescribed by the Law of the Moses (Luke 2:22). Notice that immediately in the next verse, Luke describes the law as “the law of the Lord” (2:23) to highlight the importance of Mosaic Law/Torah for the salvation of humankind. Luke is truly a disciple of St. Paul the Pharisee, who was also an expert of the Jewish laws. Paul’s contributions to Christianity are undeniable and Christ did not choose him in vain. In fact, had Jews been more faithful and less stiff-necked, the Torah would have sufficed to save them; and through them the whole world. In harmony with Paul’s position, Matthew records Jesus’ saying that “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfil” (Matthew 5:17). The Son of God affirms the importance of the Mosaic Law. Luke also records, “… that everything written about me [Jesus] in the Law of Moses and in the prophets and Psalms must be fulfilled” (Luke 24:44b). John puts it in another way, “Philip found Nathanael and told him, ‘We have found the one about whom Moses wrote in the Law, and also the prophets, Jesus, son of Joseph, from Nazareth’” (John 1:45). The Law and the Prophets lead people to believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God. With the revelations from the Law and the Prophets, people believe in Jesus Christ and obtain redemption. At the end of the Presentation narrative, Luke writes, “The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favour of God was upon him” (Luke 2:40).

The gospel of Luke shows us that Joseph and Mary follow the laws to the letters and you cannot find faults with them. He begins today’s text with, “Each year his parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover” (2:41). It is obvious that in order to pass on their faith to children, parents must be practising themselves. Formation of the faith of children is the duty of parents as caretakers of the wellbeing of their children’s souls. This duty lasts until their children reach adulthood. Parents cannot relent their duty and let their children grow on their own; or rely on God’s interventions. When Jesus reaches twelve, he becomes a Jewish adult and is responsible for his own actions. He began going up to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover with his parents (2:42), who continue to perform faithfully their duties in the formation of the soul of their child. It is not enough for parents to be practising themselves. Catholic parents have the duty to raise their children in the Catholic tradition just as Moses has instructed the Jews. In the instruction of daily recitation of “Shema Israel”, Moses finishes with, “Keep repeating them to your children” (Deuteronomy 6:7a). Therefore, not only should parents practise themselves, but they also teach their children to practise. No schooling can replace the teaching role of parents. They are the first instructors of faith of their children! Of course, parents without faith is another story because they do not have any belief system to pass on to their children. In such cases, God will provide.

Yet, no instructors or teachers are able to dictate what their subjects learn. All children are unique. They will pick up different messages from the same instruction of teachers because their attention spans are different. Even if they are able to pick up 100% of the one instruction, they may form different versions of actions to take in the future because of their different learning histories! Therefore, it is silly to dictate children and disciples to follow our teaching syllabus! Therefore, children and students may come up with learnings that surprise us. The boy Jesus demonstrates this in the Temple. “After three days they [Joseph and Mary] found him in the Temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers” (Luke 2:46-47). Of course, boy Jesus is special because He is the Son of God. This narrative shows the spiritual awakening of boy Jesus. His divine nature began to take a more prominent portion of his life on earth. In short, Jesus began to sense his relationship with God the Father. He calls God “my Father” (2:49b)!

Indeed, children do not belong to parents nor students their teachers. Parents and teachers are only guardians/stewards of their children and disciples entrusted to them by God. Ultimately, children and students belong to God. Alas! Parents and teachers know this reality. They understand that eventually, they must let go of their children. Otherwise, their children will never be able to grow up, gain independence and will rely on their parents to baby-sit forever! Yet it is difficult for parents to negate the emotional bonds established throughout the years they have spent together. Parents and teachers usually love their children and students so much so that they feel that their children and students belong to them. Parents and teachers expect their children and students to obey them!

Let us look at Mary’s response when they found Jesus in the Temple, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety” (2:48b). Here, the Mosaic Law is of no help because the Torah defines the minimum requirements on the behaviours of a Jew. In order to cultivate higher virtues in an adult, Jews rely on the Wisdom Literature, such as Psalms and Proverbs etc. instead of the Torah. As for the law of honouring parents, the Mosaic Law only lays down the conditions under which a “stubborn and rebellious son” should be stoned to death: who strike parents (Exodus 21:15) , curse parents (21:17) and who does not listen to his parents even though they discipline him (Deuteronomy 21:18). On one hand, Mary’s question could at most be a very mild discipline. She did not threaten to punish Jesus. On the other hand, Jesus’ staying in the Temple did not breach any Mosaic Law though it caused great anxiety on Joseph and Mary. This anxiety, which was proportional to the amount of love they have towards boy Jesus, is relieved! However, love may not reciprocate immediately. Jesus’ answer puzzles them (Luke 2:50) and may cause new anxieties. Nevertheless, I am sure Jesus loves and honours them. In the end, Luke writes, “He [Jesus] went down with them [Joseph and Mary] and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them” (2:51a). Notice that with a spiritual awakening, Jesus is confronting an issue of divided loyalty! It becomes more challenging for Jesus to obey two of His creations! It takes children and disciples a greater love to obey their parents and teachers after they become adults than when they were small. In a similar way, it takes the Son of God an even greater love to obey Joseph and Mary after He reached twelve in the Temple, His Father’s house where He began to know more and more clearly that He is the Son of God!

Beloved brethren! Love is not an exact science. There is no hard and fast rule that is universally applicable to honour parents. All depend on which culture we are living in. When you are able to read up to here, it means that your parents must have aged. For sure, loving aged parents is more demanding than loving them when they were young. Place your hope in God. He will provide. Amen.
God bless!

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Picture Credit: creator.nightcafe.studio