For me, the whole matter has been a humiliation. Why do I deserve to undergo such a persecution? Am I guilty of teaching English in Cantonese in Shung Tak? No! It is all because I have bypassed the Department to teach my S5 E&RE lessons in English in an English College! Have the school received any complaints from parents or students for my teaching E&RE in English? No! Of course, we should be proactive!
The school has been teaching S6 and S7 E&RE in English for years. Now, can I take these NSS S5 students as S6 students of the old system? I simply want to equip them with more English vocabulary and moral reasoning in group interviews. Am I not proactive?
Knowing that he is unable to persuade me to change my mind, he asked the Supervisor to deal with me. I obeyed the Supervisor's instruction and is willing to conduct a survey to gauge students' opinions, to find out if they have any difficulty in learning the lessons in English. To keep my neutrality, I washed my hands and asked the Department to do the survey. I don't want to meddle with the outcomes. However, my boss kept pressing Adrian and demanded that he met the deadline so that the results would be tabled for SMC discussion.
I have no intention to change the language policy of the school. Before the introduction of the 2000 HKCEE RS syllabus, Shung Tak taught RS in English and sat for public exam in English because she is an EMI school. With the introduction of the 2000 syllabus, the school feared that our students would be put in a disadvantage to compete with other elite schools in answering questions of personal and social issues in English. Mrs. Poon, the principal at that time, made a fatal mistake in switching the MOI of RS to Chinese, hoping to secure a good public exam RS result. Consequently, I, a Catholic English teacher, have to teach RS in Chinese! The outcome was unsatisfactory. For the past ten years, the passing rates are below 50% except for 2 or at most three years. Of course, the causes are complex.
As E&RE is not an exam subject. Therefore, I just request a little flexibility in the implementation of the MOI decision made in the SMC. But to rub salts in my wounds, I have to write up the questions in the survey. I feel like erecting my own crucifix to crucify myself. I feel stripped naked to be inspected by two hundred students. My teaching performance is to go under the microscope. Perhaps this is a sign of the time. Since professors in the universities are evaluated by the undergrads. Why not secondary school teachers?
I wrote up 15 questions plus an open-end one: "Other suggestions". However, the boss was not satisfied and insisted on adding question#16. He changed the open-end question into three open-end questions which betrayed the motive of the whole survey. I am afraid the whole survey is invalidated. Boss, why do you drive yet another nail in my coffin?
I was depressed because of the indifference shown in results. Nearly half of the responses to each question is "neutral". The agree's and disagree's split half-half of the remaining half.
I have attended three masses to console myself. In the anticipatory mass at the Holy Cross Parish to celebrate the Election of Permanent Deacon Candidates, Fr. Dominic Chan, V.G. was the chief celebrant. When he talked about the kingship of Jesus on the cross, he highlighted humility. Permanent Deacons should therefore exemplify the humility of Christ in front of the people they serve. Like Jesus, I should suffer injustice quietly and humbly.
This morning, I attended the 10:30 a.m. Sunday Mass at Ss. Peter and Paul Parish to celebrate the first vow of Sr. Mother of Good Counsel Cheung, a Shung Tak past student. Fr. Jorge Montagna, VE, was the chief celebrant. He emphasized the love of Jesus for humanity on the cross. In return for this love, Mr and Mrs. Cheung gave their daughter to Christ the King to build the Kingdom of God on earth and Sr. Mother of Good Counsel Cheung dedicated her whole life to the love of Christ the King. Hearing her vow in the ceremony, I could not hold back my tears. Lord, I have not loved You enough.
At 4 in the afternoon, Fr. Pierre Lam Minh, MEP, V.G., came to celebrate the Feast Day of our parish. In this mass, we also celebrated the Diamond Jubilee of Fr. Lejeune, MEP; Golden Jubilee of Fr. Vincent Corbelli, MM and Sr. Michelle, MM; and thirtieth anniversary of Fr. Milanese, PIME. Other priests were also invited to co-celebrate. On the stage, most of the priests are missionaries and are aging. Fr. Martin is the only young, local priest.
Fr. Pierre made this observation and shared with us his response to priestly vocation. He came from a Chinese community in Vietnam and Fr. Lejeune had been a missionary priest in his parish. Young Pierre wondered whether all priests should be expatriates. Therefore, he made up his mind to become a missionary priest himself. Now, he is the Superior of MEP in Hong Kong, heading Fr. Lejeune! Fr. Pierre exhorted the congregation to pray for priestly vocation as well as considering more attentively their own vocation.
Then he turned to the life of the famous Cardinal Nguyen Van Thuan who had been imprisoned after the fall of Saigon by Vietnamese Communists for 13 years, 9 of which were solitary confinement. In 2000, while he was still an Archbishop, he preached a course of spiritual exercises to Pope John Paul II and the Roman Curia. Later, his talks were compiled and published as "Testimony of Hope". Fr. Pierre told the congregation one section of Chapter 2, "The defects of Jesus".
Cardinal Van Thuan developed this paradox beautifully. He said that he had left everything to follow Jesus because he loved the defects of Jesus (pp, 16-17).
- Jesus has a terrible memory. Like the reading from today, he forgot the one crucified on the right was a thief. He promised the thief paradise on that day.
Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise (Luke 23:43). - Jesus doesn't know math. He equated 99 to 1. He left 99 sheep behind to go after just 1.
What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost, until he finds it? (Luke 15:4). - Jesus knows no logic. A woman can trouble and call together all her neighbours and friends just to announce to them that she has just found her lost coin.
And when she has found it, she calls together her friends and neighbors, saying, `Rejoice with me, for I have found the coin which I had lost.' (Luke 15:9).
The Beatitudes and many other teachings are full of paradoxes (Matthew 5:3-12). - Jesus is a risk-taker. He promises that people who follow him will receive 100 times more persecutions and an intangible eternal life.
... receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life. (Mark 10:30). - Lastly, Jesus doesn't understand finances or economics. He gave the same amount of wage to workers who have worked for different number of hours (Matthew 20:1-11).
Therefore, as a disciple of Jesus, I should follow his examples to have a poor memory, to forget what my boss has wronged me. I can do this in my head. But I am afraid I still cannot do this in my heart.
As a follower of Jesus, I should also know no math. I should not be calculating, should not count the costs. If it is a right thing to do, do it whatever the costs. Jesus is God and has infinite resources and love. Of course he does not need to count the costs. But I am all too human. My remaining days are numbered. I have to be selective in my choices. My only chance is to get connected to Jesus to channel his resources onto me ...
Dear Lord, Your defects have cheered me up. Please engrave Your defects in me so that I will be depressed no more. Amen.
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