BREAK OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE

These days, the concept of "comfort zone" pops up many times in my homilies and personal reflections. I understand that it is an important concept in my spirituality and perhaps a handle with which I may achieve a breakthrough. Of course, it is all a matter of God's pleasure, not mine.

In meditating today's reading (Luke 9:22-25), I see that being a workaholic is in fact an evasion from intimate relationships. I bury myself among heavy workloads which are more comfortable than opening up my vulnerabilities. I do not allow myself to be hurt emotionally. Therefore, I keep myself aloft for fear of establishing close relationships. In work, I can forget my being. In this way, I have achieved to a certain extent self-denial required by Jesus. Consequently, I suffer financially and medically. And I deem it my daily cross. Yet, am I following Jesus? What does it mean to follow him (9:23)?

What was the script of Jesus? He carried out the will of the Father, suffered many things and was rejected and killed but on the third day, he was raised from the dead (9:22). Now, what does it mean to follow him? Am I supposed to suffer many things and is rejected and killed like Jesus, and only then can I be said to be following him? Why then does he say that his yoke is easy and his burden light (Matthew 11:30)?

In the diaconia ministry, I feel more and more strongly that there are many things beyond my control. For example, the "Pun Choy Banquet" we offer for outsourcing janitors in Tin Shui Wai. I set the target to 15 tables. So far, only some 50 janitors sign up and we are just one week away. During my teaching career, things have been thoroughly thought out and meticulously implemented. Everything is under control. Now, everything relies on God's pleasure! I need to break out of my comfort zone and relearn the easy and light way.

Merciful Lord, may whatever I do is what you will to get done. Please put your words on my lips so that whatever I say is what you will to convey. Amen.