The Art of Loving 愛的藝術

Sixth Easter Sunday, Year B
Theme: The Art of Loving

Every mature Christian should study the gospel of John. Unlike the other three gospels, John's gospel is not simply a recording of the words and deeds of Jesus Christ. It is a meditation on the life of the Word, the Son of God. Therefore, sometimes it is difficult to follow his train of thoughts. Just as what Fr. Joseph always teaches us, "In his gospel, John takes us on quantum jumps. We always have to jump from the literal level to the symbolic levels." The passage today is probably an exception. It is very straightforward. We don't need to jump because we have come to a theme which John repeats many times in different occasions: LOVE. God is love. Jesus Christ loves us without reservation. We should obey him and love one another because only love bears fruits that will remain.

Unlike other living creatures, human babies are born prematurely. They cannot survive without the help from others. In one sense, it is their weakness. But it also provides them with great potential to learn and advance. Other animals don't have to learn. They survive by instincts. Human babies take several years to learn before they can stand on their own. Now they dominate the whole Creation! They were truly created in the image of God. We hear people say, "No man is an island." All human beings rely on relationships to survive, to grow, to develop, to make advancements and turn the "image of God" within us into reality.

When we look at relationships, some are sour and even deadly because there are selfish people whose motto in life is "What I can't get, nobody can. When I am unhappy, nobody can be happy." In such a "lose-lose" relationship, all parties suffer.
There are beautiful relationships in which all parties become better and better. All parties grow and help each other grow. This is a "win-win" relationship in which love flourishes. For example, Catholic domestic helpers and their Catholic employers are examples of such a "win-win" relationship. The newly-wed couple is another.
In most relationships, one party gains at the expense of the other. It is a "zero-sum" relationship. Immediately, an exploitative employer-employee relationship comes to mind, right? However, because human beings are able to grow and develop the "image of God" within them, the party that gains may be able to amplify the benefits while the party that loses may be able to heal itself. So, the "zero-sum" relationship is only temporary and in the end, both parties are happy. Your relationship with your boss may improve in time. A mother-infant relation which develops into a mother-child relationship and a mother-son relationship is another good illustration of this type of transient "zero-sum" relationships.

When we look deeper, we will discover that love is an essential element to make a relationship healthy, happy and sustain it. Who doesn't want to enjoy a healthy and happy relation? Therefore, many best-sellers teach people "The Art of Loving". For example, Erich Fromm wrote that there are four elements in love: care, responsibility, knowledge and respect. Alas! There is nothing new under the sun. Actually, all these ideas came from Jesus' teachings. So, why don't we go back to the root to find out what Jesus' teaching is!

1. Jesus describes His relationship with us as one between a good shepherd and his flock (John 10:11). This is care. Whatever Jesus does, he does it for our good. Similarly, whatever we do, we do it for the good of the other party. We fed infants the best milk and sent them to the best school for their good. That is also why we baptize them to make them not just our children but also the children of God so that they may lead a life full of grace.
2. Jesus gave us the Holy Communion to feed us until the end of the world (Matthew 28:20). He also took up the cross and lay down his life to pay for our sins (John 10:15). This is responsibility. Do you remember the story of Cain and Abel? When God asked Cain the where-about of his brother Abel, we hear the immortal line, "Am I my brother's keeper?" (Genesis 4:9) Yes Cain, you are! This is a tragic example of being irresponsible. As parents, we do not just baptize our children. We help them build up intimate relationship with Jesus and obey God's Commandments. We bring them to the Sunday School.
3. As our personal Saviour, Jesus calls us by names (John 10:3) and He knows our personal needs. This is knowledge. However, some parents have become Monsters by imposing their personal wishes on their children without knowing whether those actions really do their children any good. They force their children to take many classes on Sundays instead of bringing them to Sunday mass. Monster parents demonstrate a lack of knowledge.
4. All of us are free because God our Creator is free. He does not force us to believe in Him or to do His will. This is respect. God even respects His creatures! Do we treat other people with respect? Do we take advantage of others, exploit them and trample on their dignity? Alas! Human beings even abuse their freedom to do harms to themselves and others. What does Jesus do? He cleans up our mess by dying on the cross for us! This is more than respect. This is LOVE, Jesus' love.

But wait, Jesus' love should be unconditional. Why then does Jesus tell us to obey his commandments in order to remain in his love (15:10)? That is an order and there is no respect for our freedom. Isn't it contradictory? Think again. Jesus is our God and we are His sheep, His creatures (Psalm 100:3). When God gives a commandment, it is for our good. It is to help us actualize the "image of God" within us. In obeying His commandment, we may remain in His love and our joy may be complete (John 15:11).

Brethren, let us bear in mind at least these four elements of love: care, responsibility, knowledge and respect. Let us bear in mind our call to actualize the "image of God" in us and in others. Let us put into practice Jesus' command and love one another like what He has done for us.
God bless!
2015年默想

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復活期第六主日，乙年
主題：愛的藝術

每個成熟的基督徒，必須研讀【若望福音】。與其他三部對觀福音不同，若望的福音不單是耶穌基督言行的紀錄，更是天主聖言、天主聖子生平的「默想錄」。所以，有些時候，跟隨若望的思路是一點艱難的。正如吳神父經常說：「在他的福音中，若望經常帶領我們跳躍，從字面的層次跳進象徵的層次。」今天的經文可能是一個例外，它非常直截了當，沒有要求我們作思維的跳躍。因為今天的主題，是若望在不同場合經常強調的：愛。天主是愛，耶穌基督毫無保留地愛我們，我們應遵從祂的誡命，彼此相愛，因為祇有愛，纔能結常存的果實。

與其他生物不同，人類的嬰兒是早產的。沒有其他人的幫助，它們不能生存。表面上這是它們的弱點，但這弱點卻包含了極大的潛能，讓它們學習和進步。其他動物無須學習，牠們靠本能生活。人類的嬰兒卻要費幾年的時間纔能站地來，今天他們統治著整個創造！他們確是按天主的肖像所造。常言道：「沒有人是個孤島。」所有人都倚賴人際關係存活、成長、發展、進步並現實「天主的肖像」。

當我們研究人際關係的時候，我們會發現一些酸苦甚至致命的關係，因為有些自私的人，他們人生的座右銘是：「我得不到的，沒有人可以得到；我不快樂，沒有人可以快樂！」在這些關係裡，人人痛苦，可謂「雙輸關係」。
有些美麗的關係，人人受惠，人人變得愈來愈好，大家互相扶持彼此的成長。這些充滿著愛的關係，可謂是「雙贏關係」。例如，天主教外傭與她們天主教僱主的關係，新婚燕爾的夫婦關係，都是「雙贏關係」。
在其他大部份的關係中，總是一方獲益，一方受損，我們稱這些關係為「零和關係」。大家的腦海立刻浮現出一個僱主剝削她外傭的圖像，對不對？不過，人是有能力成長，並且發展在他們內的「天主肖像」。受益的一方可以擴大她的利益，而受損的一方可能會自我治療。因此，「零和」是短暫的，最後大家都稱心滿意。假以時日，你和僱主的關係得以改進；一個母嬰關係發展成母子關係，是另一個「臨時零和關係」的寫照。

當我們更深入反省時，我們會發覺「愛」能持續令一個關係健康愉快。有誰不希望享受一個健康愉快的關係呢？所以，有很多暢銷書籍教人「愛的藝術」。例如，艾里希‧弗洛姆認為，愛有四個主要元素：關懷、責任、認識和尊重。唉！太陽之下無新事，上述高見亦不過是耶穌的教訓。那麼，何不尋根究底，看看耶穌有甚麼教訓吧！

1. 耶穌把祂與我們的關係，形容為善牧與羊群的關係（若10:11）。這就是「關懷」。無論耶穌做甚麼，總是為了我們的益處。同樣，無論我們做甚麼，都應該為對方的益處而做。我們以最好的奶餵哺我們的嬰兒，我們送他們到最好的學校讀書。所以我們為嬰兒洗禮，讓他們不但成為我們的子女，更成為天主的子女，好能度一個充滿恩寵的生活。
2. 耶穌賜給我們聖體聖事，直到今世的終結（瑪28:20）。祂為我們的罪，背負十字架，並捨棄了自己的性命（若10:15）。這就是負「責任」的表現！還記得加音和亞伯爾的故事嗎？當天主問加音，他的弟弟亞伯爾在哪時，加音說了一句不朽的名言：「難道我是看守我弟弟的人？」（創4:9）加音，你當然是！這是一個不負責任的悲劇性例子。作為父母，我們不但為子女施洗，我們更應幫助他們與耶穌建立親密的關係，和遵守天主的誡命，我們帶他們到主日學。
3. 作為我們個人的救主，耶穌按著名字呼喚我們（若10:3），祂知道我們需要甚麼。這就是「認識」。可惜，有些父母變成「怪獸家長」，在不清楚他們的行動，是否對孩子有益時，便把自己的意願，強加在子女身上。他們迫子女在星期日參加很多學習班，而不是帶子女參加主日彌撒。這些怪獸家長，是典型缺乏認識的例子。
4. 我們是自由的，因為創造我們的天主是自由的。祂並沒有強迫我們相信祂，或者服從祂的旨意。這就是「尊重」。連天主也尊重祂的受造物！我們以尊重待人嗎？我們有佔人便宜，剝削他們，並踐踏他們的尊嚴嗎？唉！人甚至濫用他的自由，傷害自己和他人。耶穌怎麼辦？祂死在十字架上為我們善後！這不祇是尊敬，這是愛，耶穌的愛。

等等！耶穌的愛不是無條件的嗎？為甚麼耶穌命令我們，服從祂的誡命，好能存留在祂的愛內（15:10）呢？這是一道命令，當中沒有半點尊重我們的自由。這不是很矛盾嗎？請再三思。耶穌是我們的天主，我們是祂的羊群，祂的受造物（詠100:3）。天主賜給我們一條誡命，是為了我們的益處，幫助我們彰顯內在的「天主肖像」。當我們遵守祂的誡命時，我們便存留在祂的愛內，我們的喜樂便得以完滿（若15:11）。

各位兄弟姊妹，我們最少也要緊記愛的四大元素：關懷、責任、認識和尊重。讓我們牢記我們的聖召，在於把我們的和別人的內在「天主肖像」，實現出來。讓我們實踐耶穌的命令，彼此相愛，如同耶穌愛了我們一樣。
天主保祐！