We fail our children

My tongue will be rather acidic today. As adults, we fail our children in bringing them up properly.
To be frank, I have a dislike of Education Officers in the government. If they have no teaching experiences but administrative skills, they are doing a disservice to the education in Hong Kong. They treat education as a business. For example, parents and students are stakeholders and clients; value for money is the philosophy for educational expenditure etc. I cannot blame them because after all, they are only administrators. Their responsibility is to make sure that taxpayer's money is well spent. But can they get away from the consequences? Some officers were teachers. They have classroom experience. But I am afraid their experience must be a bad one. Otherwise, they should have stayed in the classroom and enjoy the interactions with students. Unfortunately, they end up in the Education Department, meting out disastrous policies --- no corporal punishment, communicative approach in the teaching of English, happy learning etc. The outcome? Fragile irresponsible youngsters! Of course, you have to take my words with a pinch of salt. My temperament is pessimistic and my experience is narrow and swallow. My dear Mr. Kwok, why do you still stay in the classroom? Why don't you quit? I have no satisfactory explanation.
Today, I read Hebrews 12:5-17. It tells us how fathers discipline their children. Discipline without love is child abuse. Discipline with love is being responsible.
For the author of Hebrews, our life on earth is a race, a competition to win prizes. In the process, we suffer, not because we are unlucky. Rather, it is because we are sons and God is our father.
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? (Hebrews 12:7)
Sooner of later, a teacher will feel like a father of his students. He cares about their well being, physical, moral as well as spiritual. Education officers remain administrators. They lose contact with youngsters in the classrooms. No corporal punishments because they don't want to hear complaints from parents. Meanwhile, many parents have forgotten that they have no time to teach their children. They have entrusted their children into the hands of teachers who become second parents to these youngsters. Unfortunately, they sometimes overprotect their children and their hearts ache because teachers discipline their children. They claim their right as stakeholders and forfeit the benefits of their children. Who, then will discipline these youngsters to bring them back to the right path and a right attitude of life? Should they wait until their children stumble on evils in the society and let the law enforcement agents punish them? Too late! The society will also reject them.
If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons (Hebrews 12:8).
These juvenile delinquents become illegitimate children and not sons. Parents, administrators and education officers, listen to the wisdom of Hebrews.
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant; later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it (Hebrews 12:11).
Parents, say no to happy learning because learning cannot be pleasant all the time.
Youngsters, how shall you learn the rules of life?
Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees,
and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.
Strive for peace with all men, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.
See to it that no one fail to obtain the grace of God; that no "root of bitterness" spring up and cause trouble, and by it the many become defiled;
that no one be immoral or irreligious like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal.
For you know that afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears (Hebrews 12:12-17).
The story of Esau is revealing. For the pleasure of quenching his thirst, Esau surrendered his birthright to Jacob (Genesis 25:29-34).
Youngsters, shall you surrender your bright future in exchange for present gratification, indulging in online games, chatting, flirting, taking drugs? Don't you know that there is an after life waiting for you when your life ends here on earth?

Dear Lord, I thank You for being so patient, listening to my frustrations. Strengthen my drooping hands and shaking knees. Allow me to continue bearing witnesses to Your love. Amen.

Appendix:
My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor lose courage when you are punished by him.
For the Lord disciplines him whom he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.υἱέ μου, μὴ ὀλιγώρει παιδείας κυρίου μηδὲ ἐκλύου ὑπ' αὐτοῦ ἐλεγχόμενος·
ὃν γὰρ ἀγαπᾷ κύριος παιδεύει,μαστιγοῖ δὲ πάντα υἱὸν ὃν παραδέχεται. (Hebrews 12:5b-6)
Υἱέ, μὴ ὀλιγώρει παιδείας κυρίου μηδὲ ἐκλύου ὑπ̓ αὐτοῦ ἐλεγχόμενος,
ὃν γὰρ ἀγαπᾷ κύριος παιδεύει, μαστιγοῖ δὲ πάντα υἱὸν ὃν παραδέχεται. (Proverbs 3:11-12).


Comment by Ruth Luk:

Hi, Mr. Kwok.  How are you?  I have a few comments about what you said.

Although I totally agree that my generation is idle and unmotivated, I don't think corporal punishment can help fixing this problem.

Education officers' laziness may be one of the reasons that corporal punishment is not allowed.  However, education officers need to take some other considerations as well.  Some teachers may abuse their power and punish their students without reason.  Not only the youths can be irresponsible, sometimes adults are unreasonable too.

You said discipline with love was being responsible, and I will never doubt that most Hong Kong teachers, at least those I met, are loving.  Nevertheless, we have to realize that people perceive things differently.  As what George Berkeley put it, "to be is to be perceived."  Will all students understand their teachers discipline them out of love?  Will they accept their teachers' idea of love?  If they don't perceive the punishment involves love, then love doesn't exist, at least in their eyes, and this will be called child abuse.

I confess that I am not a fan of behaviorism though the behavior modification is really effective and efficient.  I believe that one needs to resolve something that is unresolved within one's self in order to truly alter one's behavior.  In other words, changing of attitude and thoughts is important.  Punishments on youths are telling them to stop going on a wrong path, but the youths don't know why they can't go or where they need to go instead.  Don't you think such unyielding method won't work on those stubborn teens?  Confronting the tough with toughness will only result in destruction on both sides.  I am not saying the communicative approach is the best way to do that, but it may be better than pushing them by force.

Maybe the best (but impossible) approach is to understand the students, and then approach them with methods suitable to their personalities and situations.  Something that need to be explore is the reason of their attitude.  Many factors contribute to the indulgence in present gratification, such as lacking of satisfaction in academic work, feeling unmotivated to move on with life, unable to withdraw from addictions etc.  They are just like alcoholics.  You can't tell the alcoholics to stop drinking without teaching them some new and healthy entertainments.  Same here.  The youths need to be introduced to something new; they need to be occupied with things, something that is healthier and they can find fulfillment in.