主題：寬恕別人必先寬恕自己
首先，讓我們澄清一些小節。上星期的福音教導我們，若我們關心弟兄犯了罪，我們第一步的行動是單獨地勸告他，保留他的面子和尊嚴。若他不聽，找多兩個人去勸告。若他仍冥頑不靈，纔往有權勢的人仕告發他，例如教會、大學本部或者政府。為甚麼在今天的故事中，惡僕的同伴竟直接向君王告狀，而沒有經過獨處，再找其他同伴勸告他的步驟呢？我個人認為，上一個主日的經文在翻譯上為了通順，譯成「你的兄弟得罪了你」。其實，有些手抄本是「你的兄弟犯了罪」。言下之意，你目睹你的兄弟做了一些與你沒有關係的錯事，你關懷他靈魂的益處，首先好言相勸，繼而找多一兩個人協助游說他，而不是直接告發他。今天的故事涉及私人糾紛，需要沒有利益衝突的第三者作出調停，這第三者必須具有公認的權威纔有效。其他的同伴不可以做這第三者嗎？除了沒有足夠的權威之外，可能有利益衝突。因為發生在一個同伴身上的事，不久也可能會波及其他同伴。所以惡僕的同伴可能為求自保，先發制人，直接向君王告發他亦未可知！
第二，一萬「塔冷通」和一百「德納」，今天價值多少？
耶穌喜歡用誇張的手法，點出祂教訓的重點。例如撒種的比喻，以今天的技術，一顆種子通常能結出24顆麥。所以，能結出一百粒麥的種子，可算是「神奇種子」了！且看，同樣在瑪竇福音，耶穌另一個有關善用天賦才幹的比喻中，也祗不過是五個塔冷通（瑪25:16）。整部聖經，提及大額塔冷通的，還有舍巴女王獻給撒羅滿王的120個塔冷通的黃金（列上10:10）和撒羅滿王自己每年的收入，是660個塔冷通的黃金（10:14）。以今天的市價，耶穌的一萬塔冷通是撒羅滿王全年收入的五份之一，或者相當於舍巴女王的見面禮！這就是我們每個人欠天父的罪債，恐怕窮一生也還不清！而我們彼此之間的恩怨，也不及其中的一百萬份之一！而一百萬份之一是量度空氣中的懸浮粒子數量的單位，在我們和在天父的眼中，的確是微不足道！為這微不足道的事物傷了彼此的兄弟情誼，值得嗎？即使我們按照耶穌基督的指示，寬恕我們的兄弟七十個七次，亦祗不過是天父寬恕我們的二千份之一。試問誰人一生之中有二千個朋友兄弟呢？
寬恕別人要求甚麼？中文的「恕」，是指推己及人。用現代術語，就是「同理心」，即是跳出自我，設身處地，感受別人的處境，從別人的角度想。所以，寬恕是難的，因為要跳出自我。讓我分享一位媽媽的故事，請大家評理。
今天的社會，瀰漫著一股歪風，就是有仇必報，你做初一，我做十五。你涼薄，我就可以涼薄；而且糾紛不是我挑起的，所以我已站在道德高地，可以狠批你。我們有權自衛，我們要防範未然，不要讓歪風散播等等。如果你想息事寧人，或者你會收聲，但排在你後面的人又會怎樣呢？如果你不怕惡人，你惡我可以更惡，我可以用更惡毒的粗口問候你！這兩種做法，為妳的孩子立下甚麼榜樣呢？倘若你默不作聲，你在告訴自己的孩子這個世界是沒有公義的。祗要足夠惡，就可以得到你不應該得到的東西。倘若你惡言相向，可能會發展到「初則口角，繼而動武」的局面，後果更惡劣！而且，你正在助長「你涼薄，我就可以涼薄」的歪風！
插隊的確是不對的，因為對這位媽媽不公平，對其他正在排隊的人不公平。論理，你請他們排隊是無可厚非的。而且你尊重他們，禮貎地請他們排隊更是絕對正確的做法。其實你已經寬恕了他們插隊的錯。
如果你越想越憤怒，小心，你可能犯了加音的同一個錯誤，沒有聽取天主的忠告，讓挫折感和憤怒控制了自己，結果殺了自己的弟弟亞伯爾（創4:6-8）。原來，寬恕別人，其實是擇放自己，不再折磨自己。但對方仍得寸進尺，我應繼續寬恕嗎？我豈能示弱，姑息養奸呢？其實，對方得寸進尺可以令我不舒服的話，這表示我仍執著一些未必合理的價值、或者未能放下某些不幸的經歷。這時候，我們需要的不是報復，而是尋求治療，學習放下執著，寬恕自己。對！我們寬恕得少，因為我們愛得少，我們不愛自己，不寬恕自己。
一如耶穌基督的「浪子回頭」的比喻一樣，這個排隊故事的結局是開放的，由你自己決定。天主保祐！
羅馬帝國以銀或銅鑄造錢幣。一萬個「塔冷通」相當於342,000公斤的銀。一百「德納」相當於0.3公斤的銀。惡僕的欠債，是他同伴欠債的一百萬倍！以今天的銀價，一萬「塔冷通」相當於十五億三千二百萬港元。而一百「德納」祗不同是港幣一千三百元！
有一天，媽媽帶著小男孩到便利店購物，然後排隊付錢。前面的，購物數量多，不久後面付款的隊伍也增長了。就在那時，一對衣著前衛的青年男女在他們前插隊，媽媽禮貎地說：「請你們往後排隊吧。」那女的竟然當眾以粗言穢語辱罵這位媽媽。倘若你是這位媽媽，你會如何應對呢？
讓我們放下對錯的倫理角度，從感受的角度檢視一下。當那個年青女子向妳說粗言穢語的時候，妳覺得被冒犯了嗎？好吧！讓我們設身處地，從她當時的角度想一想。因為我自己理虧，惟有發怒，說粗言穢語來掩飾自己理虧。停一停，回到自己，妳仍然覺得被冒犯嗎？抑或被冒犯的感覺減少了嗎？
Twenty Fourth Ordinary Sunday, Year A
Theme: Forgive Yourself First Before You Forgive Others
First of all, let us clarify some details. Last Sunday, we read that we care about our brother who has sinned. Our first step is to go and tell him his fault between you and him alone to protect his fame and dignity. If he does not listen, go with two more people. If he insists on his fault, the last resort is to report to people in authority, such as the Church, the University Administration or the Government. Why then did the fellow servants report directly to the king without going through the solitary, then the witnesses steps? I opine that the translation "If your brother sins against you" bears a certain amount of blame. Indeed, some manuscripts omit "against you". That is to say, you see your brother does something wrong, but unrelated to you. You care about his soul and speak to him. Then you seek one or two people to persuade him and do not report him directly. The story today is a personal quarrel. It needed the arbitration of a disinterested third party. This third party must also be authoritative enough to be effective. Could the other fellow servants not be this third party? Besides the lack of authority, there were probable conflicts of interests. What happened to one fellow servant might spread to the others. In order to self-defense, it was possible for the other fellow servants to take the first strike and report to the king!
Secondly, how much are ten thousand talents and one hundred denarii today?
Jesus loves using exaggerating means to press his messages through, for example, the "Parable of the Sower". The technology today is able to yield 24 grains from a single grain of wheat. Thus a seed which is able to yield a hundredfold is a "wonder seed". Take a look at another parable in Matthew, the parable of Talents. Only 5 talents were involved (Matthew 25:16). There are two places in the Bible in which a large number of talents are mentioned. They are the 120 talents of gold Queen Sheba gave King Solomon (1 Kings 10:10) whose annual income was 660 talents of gold (10:14). With the prices of gold and silver today, the ten thousand talents of silver of Jesus was equivalent to one fifth of the annual income of King Solomon, or perhaps the gift of Queen Sheba. That is how much each of us owes the Father. I am afraid we will never be able to repay within our whole life! What about the grudges we hold against each other? It is only one millionth part of what we owe our Father! One millionth of a part is the unit with which we measure the level of pollutants in the air. It is truly negligible. Thus, does it worth harming our fraternal bond? Even if we strictly follow Jesus' instruction to forgive our brothers seventy times seven, it is only two thousandth part of what our Father has forgiven us. Who on earth has two thousand friends and brothers in his life?
What does it take to forgive? In Chinese, it is "kuān shù". The character shù means "to put yourself in the other's shoes". It means "empathy" in modern jargon. That is to say, we jump out of ourselves, put ourselves in the other's situation and feel it, look at things from that perspective. Therefore, to forgive is difficult because it requires jumping out of oneself. Let me share with you the story of a mother and you decide.
Nowadays, there is a trend of "tit for tat" smothering the social morality of Hong Kong. You are callous, thus I will be callous. I did not start it. So, I can harshly criticize you from moral high ground. I have a right to self-defence. I am taking a preventive action to nip in the bud and to prevent the spread of ill-wind etc. If you want to appease, you may shut up. But what about the people queuing behind you? If you are not deterred, you can even be fiercer and retort back with more obscenity! What example have you set up for your boy with these two responses? If you shut up, you are telling your boy that there is no justice in the world. If you speak loud enough, you can get what you don't deserve. If you bark back, the situation may end up in physical assaults. That is even worse! Moreover, you are fanning the ill-wind of "You are callous. I am free to be callous."
Jumping queue is wrong because it is unfair to the mother and all the people behind her. From the moral side, there is nothing wrong to tell him to line up. Moreover, you have given them due respect and politeness. It is absolutely impeccable. In fact, you have forgiven them the fault of jumping queue.
Let us let go of the moral angle and examine the situation from the feeling level. When the young lady spoke profanity against you, did you feel offended? Now, put yourself in her shoes and think from her perspective. Since I am wrong, I will vent my anger to cover up my fault. Stop now and return to yourself. Do you still feel offended? Do you feel less hurt?
If the more you think, the more furious you become, beware. You might make the same mistake as Cain did. He did not listen to God's advice and allow frustration and anger to take control over him. Consequently, he murdered Abel his brother (Genesis 4:6-8). It turns out that forgiving others is to release yourself, not to torture yourself anymore. But the other party may take advantage and make further advances. Should I continue to forgive? Am I exposing my frailty? Am I encouraging evil with reticence? In fact, if the other party keeps on advancing and you feel uncomfortable, it shows that you are still sticking to unreasonable values or you cannot let go of some tragic past experiences. Then what you need is not retaliation but healing. We need to learn to let go and to forgive ourselves. Right! We are forgiven less because we love less. We do not love ourselves enough. We do not forgive ourselves.
Similar to the Parable of the Prodigal Son, the ending of this story is open-ended. You decide. God bless!
Romans minted coins with silver and bronze. Ten thousand talents were equivalent to 342,000 kg of silver and one hundred denarii 0.3kg. The unforgiving servant owed the king more than one million times that of what his fellow servant owed him. According to silver price today, ten thousand talents worth $1,532,000,000 Hong Kong Dollars; and one hundred denarii $1,300.
One day, a mother brought along her little boy to a convenient store to buy something. Then they queued up to pay. Since the one in front had bought a lot of things, the queue began to grow. Just then, a young couple dressed up in a punky way arrived and jumped queue. The mother politely told them to line up. The young lady yelled profanity in front of all at the mother. If you were the mother, how would you react?
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