主題：廿一世紀公教父母
有誰不願意生活在美滿的家庭之中？可惜，「家家有本難唸的經」，每個家庭都有自己獨特的難處。在一個家庭可行的生活習慣，例如，每晚睡前，父母與子女一起祈禱，祝福他們；或者主日一起飲早茶，然後一起返回聖堂參加彌撒；或者在節日紀念日，一起吃晚飯等等，在另一個家庭卻是無用武之地。因此，為了幫助人民能更有歸屬感，遵守一些傳統習俗是有幫助的，例如在中國人的一些與團圓有關的節日如：中秋、冬至、除夕，總要一家團聚吃晚飯，湯丸和派紅包等。
路加福音記載了一些猶太人的習俗：包括今天沒有讀的，聖母瑪利亞所生的男嬰出生後第八天，舉行割損禮並取名耶穌；今天所讀的，男嬰出生後要「坐月」四十日，然後舉行取潔禮。倘若是首生的男嬰，還要按梅瑟的法律，奉獻給上主。遵守這些表面繁瑣的習俗，表達出猶太人對自己是「上主選民」身份的自覺，引以為榮；並且在歷史上，遵守梅瑟法律，成為抗拒外族欺壓的精神力量。他們擁有並實行這些優秀的傳統，代代相傳，即使多次亡國、被驅趕和屠殺，猶太民族至今仍兀立不倒。大聖若瑟，聖母瑪利亞和耶穌所組成的聖家，正是生活在羅馬殖民地統治的環境生活。天主聖子降生成人，有賴大聖若瑟與聖母瑪利亞，從小悉心培育，使聖子能完成天父的救贖工程。
生活在廿一世紀的公教父母，對於培育子女，面臨的挑戰很大。聖家可以做到的，我們未必做得到。當年的社會氣氛，沒有今天那麼商業化。人民的生活並不會斤斤計較成本效益，而是事件本身的善與惡。他們送子女到會堂學習梅瑟法律，在家則跟父親學一門手藝，一家人共享歡樂，共度困難，期待以色列的復興。因為他們相信，守梅瑟的法律是善，安息日不停工是有害。縱使可以賺多一日的工錢，改善家庭的收入，這仍是一件壞事。今天，大家會不會這樣想呢？
今天，縱使教育制度如何不善，學校只幫助學童應付考試，而不教導他們做人的應有態度；只教導他們物質的科學知識，而不啟發他們認識天地的主宰和人生的終向。父母因為工作的關係和法例的規定，不得不送子女上學，接受劣質的教育。各位父母，尤其是年青的父母，大家能袖手旁觀，繼續任由子女在這樣的環境成長呢？大家是不是應該為子女考慮更遠大的前途，培育子女的靈性生命，與天父建立良好的關係，進入永生；而不是短期的成就，入讀直資小學呢？
誠然，今天的社會多元化，登記的天主教徒不及香港人口的十分之一。選擇一個天主教徒作為長相斯守的終身伴侶，成家立室，的確不是一件容易的事。配偶不是天主教徒，在自己的靈性生活，必定帶來困難挑戰，何況在教養子女方面呢！但天主為我們的安排，永遠是對我們好的。若沒有天主的許可，不如意的事不會發生在你身上。倘若天主許可，事件背後總有豐富的恩寵，為我們有益。所以，縱使配偶沒有共同的信仰，在培育子女的靈性生命方面，總有祝福在困難的背後，不要氣餒。
是天主祝福了你們的婚姻，天主是你們婚姻的保障。天主是愛，所以家中有愛，就有天主的臨在。教宗方濟各在去年發表的「愛的喜樂」宗徒勸諭，為生活在廿一世紀的家庭，提供了如何面對各方面困難的錦囊妙計。在「愛的喜樂」宗徒勸諭中，教宗重溫保祿宗徒至格林多前書第十三章有關「真愛」的意義和實踐。要放下慣性的在家中惟我獨尊的心態，因為每個人都是獨特的天主肖像，所以必需尊重各一位家庭成員。這份對天主肖像的尊重，是對天主本身的尊重。這份尊重如何具體地表達呢？是恆久忍耐，是溫良慈善；不嫉妒，不誇張，不自大，不作無禮的事，不自私，不輕易動怒，不埋怨。以真理為樂，凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望等等。為有不同信仰背景的夫婦，這些錦囊是促進夫妻關係的必殺技，是需要時間修煉的。
所以，教養子女之前，父母必需建立良好的溝通機制，彼此不同的價值觀，應事先明白並且達到協調。甚麼是對子女有益的事，父母怎可以意見分歧呢？在一些可以讓步的事上忍耐，在與天主關係息息相關的真理前，就應堅持。但請記著，即使堅持真理失敗了，天主仍有辦法，在受苦之中，賜給我們恩寵。
願納匝肋聖家繼續持守祝福大家，使家庭成為一個天主聖三臨在的共融成長的團體。
天主保祐！
Feast of the Holy Family, Year B
Theme: Catholic Parents in the 21st Century
Who doesn't want to live in a happy family? However, "each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Each family has its share of signature difficulties. Routines that work in one family, such as saying prayers together and blessing children before bed; early tea together on Sunday mornings before going to mass or even eating dinners together on holidays and anniversaries, might not work in another family. Therefore, to help people nurture a sense of belonging, it is good to observe traditional customs, such as eating reunion dinners, dumplings and giving out red packets in Mid-Autumn Festival, Winter Solstice or New Year Eve etc.
We find some Jewish customs in the gospel of Luke: including what was not read today, the circumcision and naming on the eighth day after the BVM had given birth to Infant Jesus; and what was read today about the Purification rites forty days after the birth of a male child and the offering of the first-born male to the Lord according to the Law of Moses. These customs seemed to be trivial to observe. However, they represented for the Jews an awareness of their identity as the "Chosen People of God" which they were proud to be. Throughout history, keeping these Mosaic customs becomes a spiritual strength to resist oppressions from Gentiles. They possessed and put into practice these superior traditions, handed them down so that Jews are still standing tall despite being conquered, exiled and butchered repeatedly. The Holy Family, which was made up of St. Joseph, the BVM and Jesus, was living under Roman colonial rule. The Incarnate Son of God had to rely on the careful nurture of St. Joseph and the Blessed Virgin Mary so as to be able to accomplish the Father's redemption project.
Catholic parents living in the twenty-first century face far greater challenges in raising their children. What the Holy Family could do might not work for us. Back then, the social milieu was not commercialized. People did not care so much about cost-benefit analysis. They only looked at whether an action was in itself good or evil. They sent their children to synagogues to study Mosaic laws and learnt a trade at home from their fathers. The whole family shared joys and sufferings together, anticipating the restoration of Israel. It was because they believed that keeping Mosaic laws was right. Working on Sabbath was evil. Even though you might earn an extra day's wage to improve the family income, it was still a bad thing. Today, will you think in this way?
Today, no matter how bad our education system is, that schooling only helps children pass examinations, that schools do not teach students proper attitudes towards life but teach only materialistic scientific knowledge, that schools do not inspire children to know the Creator of the universe and the final goal of existence etc. Both parents have to work and it is against the law not to send children to school to receive education of such poor quality! Parents, especially young ones, can you fold your arms to let your children grow up in such an environment? Shouldn't you consider the longer future, nurture their spiritual life to build up their good relationship with the Father to attain eternal life instead of short-sighted goals like entering Directly Subsidized primary schools?
Indeed, in a pluralistic society today, the registered number of Catholics is less than one tenth of the total population of Hong Kong. The chance of getting a Catholic as your permanent spouse to build up a family is slim. When your spouse is not a Catholic, you are sure to face many difficulties and challenges to live up your faith, not to mention raising your children in a Catholic manner. But what God arranges for us must be for the good of ours. Without God's consent, nothing bad can happen to you. If God consents, there must be abundant grace behind the difficulty for our good. Thus, even if our spouses do not share the same faith with us, on the question of raising the spiritual life of our children, there will always be blessings behind difficulties. So don't lose heart!
It is God who blesses your marriage, the guarantee of which is God Himself. God is love. Where there is love in the family, God is present. Last year, Pope Francis issued the apostolic exhortation "Amoris Laetitia" to advise families living in the twenty first century. There, he goes through the meanings and practices of "Genuine Love" taught by St. Paul in I Corinthians 13. We need to let go our mentality as the de facto "Master of the House" because each and every family member is a unique image of God which deserves respect. Respect the image of God is a respect to God Himself. How do we express this respect in concrete terms? It is patient and kind, not jealous or boastful, or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way, is not irritable or resentful. It rejoices in the right, bears all things, believes all things, hope all things etc. For couples with disparity of faith, these tips are effective ways to improve spousal relations. Of course such skills take time to polish.
Thus, before raising children, parents need to ensure that a good communication has been set up and that the values of both are well understood and compromised. How can parents disagree in what the best is for their children? On some negotiable points, be patient. When we come before the truth about the relationships with God, insist. But remember, even if our insistence on the truth fails, God still has His ways to give us grace in our sufferings.
May the Holy Family of Nazareth continue to bless us, to make our families a presence of the Blessed Trinity, a communion for our growth.
God bless!
No comments:
Post a Comment