我又把自己推進一個進退兩難，不知如何取捨的局面。
湯漢樞機派遣我到天水圍聖葉理諾堂服務，這是我的首要任命。堂區主任司鐸吳書成神父安排我在八月廿七日上午十一時為顧厚德神父襄禮。這是一個例行的安排。吳神父十分體諒，會因應我的要求作出工作上的調動。
上星期日，顧神父說我不用準備廿七日的主日道理，因為他的朋友會參加彌撒，如果聽不到他講道，他的朋友會感到很失望。所以，我當日襄禮與否，可有可無！
那邊厢，剛晉鐸的黃君右神父將於廿七日上午九時三十分，到他出身的贖世主堂舉行首祭。我與黃神父曾在喇沙書院共事數年，彼此之間有一份靈性上的情誼。而且，周偉文神父將於九月出任新蒲崗善導之母堂的主任司鐸，他會在十一點主持他在贖世主堂最後一台主日彌撒。周神父指導我的執事培育，我素來仰慕他聖經釋經的功力。所以，我有衝動請吳神父免去我在廿七日的職務，好使我能分別為兩位我情繫的神父襄禮。
我進退兩難了。我祈求天主啟示我如何辨別。聖葉理諾堂是我的首要職務，但兩位神父都是我親密戰友，能為他們襄禮是何等的福份，感覺將會是何等的美妙。一如既往，天主是沉默的，但祗維持了很短的時間。
星期四開牧職團會議。會議結束前，我已找到答案。
回到最基本的問題去：我在做天主的工作，還是自己的工作？在彌撒中襄禮，不是做天主的工作嗎？當然是！當我做天主的工作時，感覺良好，恭喜您，因為做自己的工作與做天主的工作重疊了！不過，這事是沒有保證的。有時，甚至是大部份時間，做天主的工作並沒有帶來任何滿足感。
天父啊！我祈求能在做天主的工作時，找到更多的滿足感和安慰。亞孟。
Discerning Dilemma
I was caught in a dilemma created by myself.
I was assigned by Cardinal John Tong to serve St. Jerome Church in Tin Shui Wai. It is my primary ministry. Fr. Joseph Ng, the parish priest, assigned me to assist mass at 11 a.m. for Fr. Ferdinand Bouckhout, CICM on August 27. It is a routine assignment. Fr. Ng is very considerate. He would adjust the duty roster to meet my requests.
Last Sunday, Fr. Ferdinand relieved me of the duty to deliver homily on August 27 because his friends would be attending the mass. They would be disappointed if he did not deliver the homily himself. So, my service on August 27 is negligible.
On the other hand, Fr. Xavier Wong who was newly ordained would celebrate his first mass at 9:30 a.m. in Holy Redeemer Church where he came from on August 27. We had been colleagues in La Salle College for a couple of years. There is a kind of emotional and spiritual bond between us. Moreover, Fr. Renzo Milanese, PIME, who would be transferred to the Mother of Good Counsel Church at San Po Kong in September, would celebrate his last Sunday mass at 11 a.m. I owed my diaconate formation to Fr. Milanese whose biblical hermeneutics I admire the most. I strongly felt the urge to ask my parish priest me to relieve me of the Sunday duty so that I could go over to assist the two priests whom I am emotionally and spiritually bound. I was caught in a dilemma. I prayed to God to show me the right thing to do. St. Jerome Church is my primary ministry. But the two priests are my intimate comrades. Being able to assist them at mass is such a blessing. The feeling would be extremely good. As usual, God was silent, but not for long.
On Thursday, we had a pastoral team meeting, discussing current parish businesses. Before the end of the meeting, I had already known what the right thing to do.
Back to the most fundamental question. Am I doing God's work, or my work? Isn't assisting mass doing God's work? Of course it is! When I feel good doing God's work, congratulations because doing my work coincides with doing God's work! However, there is no guarantee. Sometimes or even most of the times, doing God's work may not bring any satisfaction at all.
Heavenly Father, I pray that I find more and more satisfaction and consolation in doing God's work. Amen.
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