God is love (2)

Exactly one year ago, I began writing this blog. Thank and praise be to God. He sustains me until this moment, writing one piece of reflection a day. It is very tempting to ask how much progress I have made. If I evaluate, it seems that I am very pride. If I don't, I may not be humble. Perhaps there is no progress to write about at all. Rationality dictates that I should choose the lesser evil. So, I should do an evaluation.
A simple word count shows that I have written around 245,000 words, roughly 670 words per day. Of course, I did not keep track of the number of hours I spent squabbling these random thoughts. It doesn't show how much I have grown in my love of God and of man. Quality counts more than quantity.
How much more have I loved my family members and my students? John wrote.
Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God.
He who does not love does not know God; for God is love (1 John 4:7-8).
My mother loves me. There is no doubt about it. How much have I loved her in return? I call her every day after I return home from school. Last summer, I spent a week with her in Chai Wan, drinking with her, arguing with her but I could not reduce her bitterness and thus her drinking. Perhaps I have not been able to share her bitterness. My Lord, have mercy on her soul.
My children loves me. But Wulstan worries me most. He is intellectually the most challenging but that is only a tiny part of him. His graduation is drawing near yet his future is still very vague. He returns home after I have gone to bed. There is not enough exchanges between my son and me. My Lord, guide him on his way.
I know that many students don't like me because I am an annoying teacher and very likely a lousy one. I can manage to help some of them make some progress. I wish I could share more enjoyable time within and without the classrooms with them. I wish they knew the Bible better and obtained spiritual nourishment. I wish they gained higher proficiency in their English and achieved good HKCEE results. I wish they were more diligent in their studies. My Lord, admit them in Your fold.
Erminia is dedicated to me. She relieves me of my depression but I have not loved her enough. Quite often, I unload my frustrations on her and leave her with the burden to raise Symphorian. I should take up a greater share of her workload and love her more. My Lord, sanctify us so that we may grow in holiness together.

Dear Lord, I have not loved You enough. I have missed many opportunities to love my neighbours. There are many more people I have not mentioned but You know them all. I entrust them all in Your loving grace. Amen.