路1:37: To The Point of Death 至死

Sunday 24 March 2024

To The Point of Death 至死

As of this writing, my ex-student is dying of lung cancer. From the family members, I learnt that his organs are failing and the only consciousness available is hearing. The hospital staff encourage visitors to speak as much as possible to him to support his passing away. When the appropriate moment comes, the hospital will switch off the life-supporting system. In my last visit which was also the first, I administered the Holy Communion to him. The readings on the monitors fluctuated so vigorously that the nurse had to increase the amount of cardiac drips lest his heart would be overloaded. Today the readings were steady even when I put the Carmelite scapular I brought from my Church on him and thus his condition was deteriorating.

I sat beside his bed for two hours, watching his rhythmic breathings of concentrated oxygen: two inhaling and one exhaling, like almost involuntarily reflexive. Had he become a comatose, I wondered? I started saying the Sorrowful Mysteries in English. After two Hail Mary’s, I could not maintain my composure. My voice became choky and tears were gushing out. I stopped and started all over again in Latin. Then I was able to finish the Sorrowful Mysteries as well as the Glorious Mysteries slowly and steadily within two hours. I must have drowsed off in the course of recitation.

Like all ordinary men, I evaded pains. Seeing my ex-student undergoing excruciating pains, I would imagine my wife, my children and all my loved ones suffering like him. I think most people prefer suffering pains themselves to seeing their loved ones suffer. Who is able to take total control over his own life? Nobody! Alas, suffering is inevitable. If we cannot withstand it, we will conjure up some defence mechanisms to evade it or repress it. Though both English and Latin are not my mother tongue, I feel less pain when I say the Rosary in Latin.

Today, we celebrate the Lord’s triumphant entry into Jerusalem to kick-off His Passion. St. Paul summarizes it in a broad stroke, “He humbled Himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8). Christ is humble because as a king coming into His own land, He was born in a manger; led the life of a carpenter in a small town and lastly entering the capital, riding on a colt (Mark 11:7). They striped him naked to crucify Him and drew lots to divide his garments (15:24) and in the end, His Pharisee friends buried Him in some other people’s tomb (15:46). He truly humbled Himself and possessed nothing on earth!

Jesus obeyed the Father’s will. During the Agony in the garden of Gethsemane, He begged the Father trice to spare Him of this cup of suffering, but not what He willed but what the Father willed (14:36). During and after His arrest, Jesus had many opportunities to evade condemnation but He did not. During the arrest, He would have walked past the band of soldiers in darkness and in confusion as He had done many times before in broad daylight but He did not. He would have remained silent in the Sanhedrin (14:62) and flatly denied to be the king of the Jews before Pilate (15:2) but He did not. He refused to jump down from the cross, abandoning His last chance to evade the cup of suffering and persevered to the end hanging on the cross for six hours (15:25, 34)! He truly became obedient to death, even death on the cross. Jesus did not evade sufferings but embraced them.